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Funny story: A Catholic Church in Kalamazoo, Michigan Opens Up A Drive-Thru Confessional

A Catholic Church in Kalamazoo, Michigan Opens Up A Drive-Thru Confessional

KALAMAZOO, Michigan – Father Vicencio of the St. Gorgonzola Catholic Church has said that he will adhere to the no more than 10 people rule that has been implement by the government. Father Vic, known for his self-aggrandizing nature, expressed t...

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Funny story: To End World Hunger, Vatican Scientists Replicate Transubstantiation

To End World Hunger, Vatican Scientists Replicate Transubstantiation

The Vatican—Saying “God has now miraculously revealed how to turn seven loaves and a few small fish into a worldwide smorgasbord,” a Vatican spokesperson announced today that their scientists have figured out the physics behind the process of transub...

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Funny story: A Squirrel Story That Will Grab You By The Nuts

A Squirrel Story That Will Grab You By The Nuts

BILLINGSGATE POST: This is a story that will grab you by the nuts. Everyone has their favorite squirrel story. It is said that there are 10 million squirrel stories in the Naked City. This is but one: This all took place in Beaver Crossing, Neb...

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Funny story: Catholic Offended at Being Compared to Alien-Believer

Catholic Offended at Being Compared to Alien-Believer

Defending his faith in Jesus Christ and the Catholic Church, Chad Hanley took offense when an acquaintance, in passing, compared him to a person believing in aliens from outer space. “I’ve never in my life worn a tin-foil hat,” said Hanley. “Nor w...

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Funny story: Satan Objects to Being Demonized by Catholic Church

Satan Objects to Being Demonized by Catholic Church

"I may not have the greatest reputation," said Satan, "but when my name is mentioned, do you immediately think 'pedophilia'? Of course not! And to think the Catholic Church is trying to demonize me." Hurt by its fateful decision to limit the Trini...

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Funny story: The Open 2019: Golf Returns to Northern Ireland Under Strict Security

The Open 2019: Golf Returns to Northern Ireland Under Strict Security

The Open was last played at Royal Portrush in 1951 and hasn't returned for 68 years, due to a little disagreement which so-called Loyalist and Republican locals quaintly call "The Troubles", but which were, in fact, a rampant killing spree between tw...

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Funny story: The Pope Speaks

The Pope Speaks

The Pope has declared that footballer Lionel Messi is “not God”, and also wondered out loud “if there was even a God”, because “fuck me this planets fucked”. In his most candid and explosive interview yet, Mr Pope told Back and to the Left news th...

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Funny story: Cardinal Pell To Be Held In Colditz Castle

Cardinal Pell To Be Held In Colditz Castle

Cardinal George Pell, the sex beast, has been sentenced to six years in prison for the sexual assaults he carried out on two 13-year-old choir boys in Melbourne in 1996, and will now be locked away so that he might reflect on the pain he caused his v...

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Funny story: Cardinal Pell Choir Boys Reached The High Notes

Cardinal Pell Choir Boys Reached The High Notes

Cardinal Pell, the 77-year-old sex offender, and former treasurer at the Vatican, has been remanded in custody for his own protection, after crowds gathered outside the courthouse in Melbourne. The demonstrators were threatening to do things to hi...

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Funny story: Cardinal Pell Is Going Down

Cardinal Pell Is Going Down

Cardinal George Pell and his sexual abuse case have attracted a lot of media attention, and it is with this in mind that I've written the latest in my proposed 'Cardinal Pell Anthology'. This one is called 'Cardinal Pell Is Going Down' Cardina...

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Funny story: A Poem For Cardinal Pell

A Poem For Cardinal Pell

I, like many others, was outraged by the news that Cardinal Pell, the former Vatican treasurer, had been found guiilty in an Australian court of sexual offences against two boys in Melbourne in 1996. The court arrived at its verdict in December la...

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Funny story: Theodore McCarrick Hopes There Is No God

Theodore McCarrick Hopes There Is No God

The former archbishop of Washington, D.C., who is currently mired in allegations of sexual abuse, has said that he hopes that there is no God, otherwise he is in a shitload of trouble. Theodore McCarrick, now 88, faces charges of sexually abusing...

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Funny story: In Moment of Weakness Pope Tells Trump No Priest Would Have Wanted to Molest Him

In Moment of Weakness Pope Tells Trump No Priest Would Have Wanted to Molest Him

Things grew rather heated in the ongoing dispute between Pope Francis and President Donald Trump regarding Trump's proposed border wall, bringing out lesser sides of both parties. The Pope chastised Trump for wanting to seize the historic La Lomit...

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Funny story: Pope Admits Catholic Church Is Now Like Something Out Of A Marquis de Sade Novel

Pope Admits Catholic Church Is Now Like Something Out Of A Marquis de Sade Novel

Pope Francis has admitted that there have been "grave errors" in the administration of affairs within the Catholic church down the years, and that, at times, things have resembled erotic scenarios and events such as the public might have read about i...

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Funny story: Born-Again Baby in Boston

Born-Again Baby in Boston

In more a medical miracle than an instance of evangelical fervor, South Boston became the (double-)birthplace of the nation’s first ever born-again baby, Robbie Fitzpatrick. While doctors are still struggling to pin down the scientific details. t...

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Funny story: Covington Catholic High School Takes the Boredom Out of Washington D.C. Tours

Covington Catholic High School Takes the Boredom Out of Washington D.C. Tours

Covington, Kentucky - It's a common complaint among today's teens. In high school they are sometimes loaded onto buses to spend a day or two on tedious tours of our nation’s Capitol, to visit sites of historical interest such as the Washington Monum...

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Funny story: Struggling Catholic Church Lays Off Holy Spirit

Struggling Catholic Church Lays Off Holy Spirit

In the wake of continuing revelations regarding sexual abuse by priests and growing antipathy toward its pro-life/anti-choice stance on abortion, the struggling Catholic Church, unable to sustain a full staff, has laid off the Holy Spirit, long consi...

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