Guy's Sperm to Turn into Tiny Computers - A Computer Dick
UBM is working at turning male Sperm into tiny biological Computers. They would roam the body correcting Genetic errors and keep the Penile plumbing in Old Age at optimum running speed. Basically an 80 year old would have the performance capa…
Read full storyAccording to Reliable Sources When Trump Divorced Marla Maples He Wanted To Marry Ivanka Trump
LOS ANGELES - (Satire News) - The word on the streets of Tinsel Town is that the racist pussy grabber divorced Marla Maples in 1999, with intentions of marrying Ivanka Trump (yes his OWN daughter). This incestuous revelation was uncovered by infor…
Read full storyAn American Reporter Reveals Queen Elizabeth's Secret Erogenous Zones
SAN FRANCISCO - (Satire News) - The Alpha Beta News Agency recently told info guru Andy Cohen, that she interviewed Queen Elizabeth at Buckingham Palace back in May. Mimosa Sabrosa said that she found the royal monarch to be a bit on the cantanker…
Read full storySuzi Q Does Her Report on White Power George
An American preschool. The teacher asked Suzi Q to bring in something from the news to discuss in class. She brought the picture you see above. And then Suzi stood in front of the class and did her report. “This is a man named George. He voted…
Read full storyOhio Ocotgenarians Reveal The Secret To Their 60-Year Marriage Is That Have Sexual Intercourse In Their Pool Twice A Day
ELEPHANT BUTT, Ohio - (Satire News) - Abby Yukon, a writer with Hearsay Today, recently visited an elderly couple in their luxurious Elephant Butt, home. The couple are Josh (84) and Begonia (85) Seftonwood. Josh is a retired firefighter and Begon…
Read full storyEver-Pleasing Sex Robots for Adults not too Far in the Future
The super Computer monster sites Amazing and Giggle are secretly racing to develop Sex Robots and see Big money in them. A Hacker was talking to a Giggle Writer Bot and the Bot innocently spilled the Robotic Beans - so to speak. It seems the…
Read full storySuelle’s A Strong (Man, baby!) for Not Apologizing
Suella will NOT apologize! To you or anyone else. She is right and you are bloody wrong. Other Things Suella Will Not Apologize for: She will not apologize if you have cancer. The pharmaceutical companies need to make money – it’s called econom…
Read full storyHarry's Book - 'Spare Tire for the Royal Vehicle' is Selling like Hotcakes.
The hot new Royal Coming of Age story is just out. It is the gripping story of a young Royal - always having to sit by the Fireplace tending the Cinders - while his Royal older brother has all the Fun and Royal adulation. Poor Hairy Harry - O…
Read full storyCocaine Chihuahuas New Way to Smuggle Drugs from Mexico to U.S.
Border Patrol agents recently discovered the latest way to smuggle Cocaine into the U. S. - Chihuahuas. A border patrol agent in El Paso noticed a white substance dripping from a Chihuahua’s rear orifice - picked the Dog up and took a deep Snif…
Read full storyNew Spiderflix Movie About Princess Di - Daring Three in a Bed Scene
A group of TikTokers did their own tragic Life of Princess Di - feeling she got a bad break from being involved with the Royals. A keys scene near the end of the movie was fought over by the Production staff. Some felt it shouldn't have been put…
Read full storyMaw - Get the Rifle - Them Darn Democrats are Coming for our Cookstove!
The latest Republican Scream of Pain is that the Evil Democrats are going to steal your Gas Cookstove. Most of them are so Rich they don't even know what a Cook Stove looks like. We have a major Crisis with Global Warming. Things have to…
Read full storyAre the Stars Out Tonight? Get Out of the Way, Elon!
Just as rich slum lords like to build skyscrapers to block the natural views of water and mountains and rolling fields of gently waving grass … (so that we all get to see hideous people walking around their flats and lofts and mistress’s apartments i…
Read full storyDon't Be A Pussy, Clean A Cat
Do you love your cat? Sure you do. He or she is a good pussy – yes she or he is! And such a cute pussy! Here at “Clean a Pussy”, a new start-up business, we love your pussy as much as you do. But sometimes, even when the pussy cleans themselves…
Read full storyRobo Dog – Do Not Pet or Feed or Make Any Sudden Movements
New robot dogs are coming on the market next year, and the military world are excited! Want to own a dog that you don’t feed, but plug in? Want a dog that doesn’t bark all goddamn day and night? Want a dog that doesn’t get sick and cost you an arm…
Read full storyAct Now - Everything About Donald MUST GO!
Since his NFTs sold out in 5 seconds, Donald Trump now wants to sell more of “himself”. In the NFTs, he presented himself as a hero of various types: a hero of the Old West, a hero of Space, some kind of Marvel hero … and a heroic bag of shit.
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