Real Madrid Says That Their Pink Soccer Ball Experiment Will Be Discontinued Immediately
MADRID, Spain - (Sports Satire) - Real Madrid has just announced that their pink soccer ball experiment has deflated. A spokesperson for the team from Spain, stated that some of the Real Madrid fans had suggested the idea to the team owners; who o…
Read full storyTennessee Wedding Vows
This reporter was allowed to sit in on one of the first marriages made under new Tennessee law that allows grown men to marry ... uh, a certain age of bride (very Biblical). I was able to record most of the groom's vow (the bride had a pacifier in he…
Read full storyKentucky Fried Abortion
Kentucky has finally made abortion illegal, as God and Baby Jesus meant for it to be. Now incest can thrive and return backwoods hillbillies to the numbers they once enjoyed during their heyday. “How come I cain’t screw ma daughter?” one native K…
Read full storyCondolence Cards from An Horrifically Honest Company
Exterior: Our deepest sympathies on the passing of your grandpa. Interior: You may wish to know that as he died, and blood poured from his asshole and buboes popped to release noxious greenish-yellow fluids all over his body, he said you were…
Read full storyGlobal Warming is Caused by the Excrement of Eight Billion People And Our Food Animals
It's a shitty situation,basically. Ecologically, the Earth has a carrying capacity of 2 billion, not doing any harm to the Earth. We have eight billion people and growing - and billions of food animals. Humans and their food animals are t…
Read full storyThe Latest National Poll Shows That 94.7% of All Registered Republicans Want Trump To Go Away And Stay The Hell There!
CHICAGO - (Satire News) - The most respected info-gathering poll agency in the country has just released the findings of it's latest national poll. The QuinniPinni Poll Agency conducted the poll in 7,902 cities, located in 49 of the 50 states.
Read full storyNo Principals
No Principals The principal walked into the staffroom There was a party in full swing There was booze and cakes and dancing A time to drink and laugh and sing Everyone knew this wasn’t on Hands, face, space was the saying But instead of st…
Read full storyTaco Bell Enters The Chinese Fast Food Market Under The Name Taco Ding Dong
HEAT WAVE, California - (Satire News) - The largest taco chain franchises in the nation, and in fact in the entire solar system, has just made a stock-raising announcement. Taco Bell spokesperson, Paco Vistalarga-Waywater, 51, told the assembled f…
Read full storyRoman Catholics Supreme Court Justices Are Against Abortion
Who could have known ahead of time that Roman Catholic Supreme Court Justices are against Abortion? They all apparently lied when being confirmed to the Supreme Court doing a lesser sin, for a Greater Good...Lying for God...? Did Tucker of Fox…
Read full storyA Palm Tree In Kissimmee, Florida Is Producing Cocaine-Filled Coconuts
KISSIMMEE, Florida - (Satire News) - The local PBS affifilate, Channel 89½ is reporting that a citrus grower has discovered an adult coconut tree growing in his tangerine orchard. The orchard owner, identified as Satchel Pennyfixx, 76, told Channe…
Read full storyWhy weren't S Club 7 invited to perform at the Jubliee concert? is a question no one is asking
They found a slot for Cliff Richard, Paddington Bear, Basil Brush, two blokes from Queen, and a Rod Stewart tribute act performing the greatest hits of Neil Diamond, so why was there no room in all of that for S Club? That is a question that is yet t…
Read full storyNew Donald Trump Commemorative Coin is Fake Gold, But Looks Real.
The fanatically loyal Trump Group that did the Border Wall financial scam, are out of prison now, and have issued a new Donald Trump commemorative coin. It is of Trump, in happier times, with Stormy Daniels on his knee. (Back before she extort…
Read full storyNorth Dakota Will Vote On Changing It's Name To Upper Dakota
BISMARCK, North Dakota - (Satire News) - The North Dakota state senate will be voting on a bill that will permanently change the name of the extremely barren, isolated, cold state. Sally Elvira Burghum, who is the wife of the governor of North Dak…
Read full storyPresident Putin Will Travel To England and Meet With Queen Elizabeth At Buckingham Palace
LONDON - (Satire News) - Tickety Boo News reporter Neville Twickenbuck, has just broken the story that the evil, hate-filled leader of Russia will be visiting Buckingham Palace and having a private meeting with Queen Elizabeth. Twickenbuck noted t…
Read full story