Don't Make Any More Jurassic Park Movies - Too Dull - Make Jurassic Climate Change Instead
Jurassic Park movies are dead, instead possibly switch to Jurassic Climate Change, where the climate of millions of years ago, the super-hot jungles of the dinosaurs return to Earth. It happens, because we have 8 billion people living-and by just…
Read full storyBloody Dictatorship China Say U.S. Criticism is Damaging Its Reputation
China the largest dictatorship on Earth has half a million, or more, Muslims in concentration camp towns, and working in prison factories. The rulers are very concerned that constant U.S. criticism about Human Rights and Taiwan Rights, is harming…
Read full storyThe Supreme Court Votes 8 To 1 To Exile Donald Trump - And Guess Which Two Women Say They're Going With Him
WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - In a move that most Democrats saw coming and only 17.9% of Republicans saw coming, the most evil, predatorial racist thing to walk the face of the Earth is going to be going bye-bye for good-good. The U.S. Suprem…
Read full storyComments on June's News Headlines
Filmmaker Waters (Pink Flamingos) complains that Trump forever ruined bad taste. Actually I can’t add much to that comment…………. Jared Kushner has taken a Masters class in writing so that he can write his memoir. Well, that is an improvement…
Read full story‘Ello’ luv’ fancy a bit of hanky panky?’
Having achieved a massive and quite unexpected orgasm at the sight of her otherwise useless husband Wills wandering around the streets of Westminster flogging that deadbeat rag, The Big Issue, Kate has decided to get in on the act. Scrolling throu…
Read full storyGod the Gun
Fairfax, Virginia: Headquarters of the NRA. If you had a gun, would you turn it into a god? Can objects be turned into religions? The NRA was originally created to “advance rifle marksmanship” (Wikipedia), but the NRA has grown beyond its scope…
Read full storyGuns from Cradle to Grave: An American Childhood
Republican lawmakers in the US have come up with a unique solution to the “gun problem”. One senator (who prefers to remain unnamed in case there’s a huge blow-back for his awesome idea) has proposed that all American children be given a gun free…
Read full storyA List of Ten Trivia Facts Regarding Tom Cruise's Latest Hit Movie, "Top Gun: Maverick"
ONE OF TOM CRUISE'S HOBBIES IS COLLECTING TRIVIA FACTS. HERE ARE TEN THAT HE PROVIDED TO THE ALPHA BETA NEWS AGENCY FROM HIS LATEST HIT MOVIE, "TOP GUN - MAVERICK." 1. Tom Cruise was not the producers first choice to star as Maverick. Brad Pitt wa…
Read full storyA Doctor Says The Reason Gov. Greg Abbott Is So Fucking Stupid Is Because The Bitch Is Missing One Half of His Brain
MAR-A-LAGO - (Satire News) - The dumbest, most ignorant, heartless governor in the history of the Lone Star state, Greg "The Hemorrhoid" Abbott traveled to Florida to visit his BFF and suck buddy Donald "Cheddar Face" Trump. The two have been clos…
Read full storyNicki Minaj To Star As Kim Kardashian In The Movie, “Hey Y’all Do These Gigantic Crotchless Panties Make My Gigantic Ass Look Even More Gigantic?”
HOLLYWOOD - (Satire News) - Hollywood Hors D'oeuvres reveals that Lions Face Pictures in association with Tri-Titan Films will soon begin filming the life of Kim Kardashian titled, “Hey Y’all Do These Gigantic Crotchless Panties Make My Gigantic Ass…
Read full storyReligion is a fabrication of the mind
Paris, France- The question is not whether science can prove religion, but rather can religious believer's prove what they believe. They wouldn't be able to ask Jesus or Buddha to attend a national conference because they really don't care about t…
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