Having achieved a massive and quite unexpected orgasm at the sight of her otherwise useless husband Wills wandering around the streets of Westminster flogging that deadbeat rag, The Big Issue, Kate has decided to get in on the act.
Scrolling through the late Princess Diana’s list of favourite charities in order to keep it ‘kosher’ so to speak, nothing really caught her eye, least of all The Leprosy Mission. AIDS obviously a dead duck and no longer attention grabbing, GOSH flogged to death and the thought of having her Fanny blown to smithereens traipsing about in a shit hole like Angola a real no no. Realising that to maximise attention sex sells, our attention seeking wank goddess unearthed ‘Beyond The Streets’ a charity devoted to ‘fallen woman’, or as we peasants call it, prossies!
Here was the perfect outlet for our sexually frustrated Kate, a few nights prowling the streets hob nobbling with some slappers under Waterloo bridge and who knows, make a few bob on the side?
Furthermore, a chance for our future Queen to ‘slip’ into something more comfortable, such as her old University days micro mini skirt, fishnets and stiletto heels, not forgetting her favourite sheer Primark blouse, the latter now so tight it made her jugs look even more desirable and exposed nipples like acorns!
A quick, discrete call to the tabloids and Kate was ready for action having applied so much make up as to be totally unrecognised….almost. None the less, the expected headlines would be mental….’Kate on her knee’s for the less fortunate’….’Following Di’s Tradition’…’Royal Kate opens up for all’..etc etc.
Coupled up with a few clapped out ‘ladies’ of the night Kate soon caught the eye of regular punters always eager for some fresh meat of course. Within her first two hours Kate had made an incredible £500 having had an endless queue of punters eager to sample her wares. Obviously, having had no pre-idea regarding current rates it was inevitable she would do well especially giving blowjobs at £1.99, full sex £4.99 anal £7.99 and, for the destitute, hand jobs at 99p.
None the less, the athletic Kate ploughed on endlessly throughout her first night finally calling it quits at dawn due to a sore arse and the inability to walk straight.
Fortunately, the Royal Rolls was on hand to ferry her back to the Palace but not before she handed over a incredible £3,200 and 99p to Beyond The Streets, now far and away her favourite charity!
