
Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy Promotes Marjorie Taylor Greene to Newly Formed Committee
Washington, D. C.--Minority leader Kevin McCarthy today announced that Marjorie Taylor Greene, in light of her recent statement comparing mask wearing mandates nationwide to Jews being persecuted in Nazi Germany, would be reassigned from her committe…
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Fauci flees to Canada; detained at border for interview with Tucker Carlson
Breaking: Washington insiders report a dynamic new development in the affairs of Mr. Biden's health advisor, Anthony Fauci. Apparently, Dr. Fauci was considering time-off in Canada when border officials sequestered him at an EconoLodge motel for f…
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Missouri Bans the Anagram Letters LMAO
JEFFERSON CITY, Missouri – (Satire News) – After receiving a petition with over 2.3 million names, the Missouri state senate has voted to prohibit the use of the anagram letters LMAO. The vote against the “Laughing My Ass Off” anagram was a close…
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California considering cruise ship voyages and additional prize packages to encourage getting the jab
California's recent enticements to encourage residents to get vaccinated has just taken an uptick, with new prize possibilities under consideration. Just days ago the state announced there will be $1.5 million cash prizes awarded to ten winners on…
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Dr Fauci arrested for spitting, spreading germs at mall while wearing clown makeup
At 9:23 PM last night Elizabeth Township Police were called to The Mills at Jersey Gardens Mall responding to reports of a small angry man wearing clown makeup “spitting on people and common surfaces” indiscriminately. Police apprehended the man…
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Due To The Horrible Beaver Infestation Problem, Arkansas Will Allow High School Boys To Carry Handguns
LITTLE ROCK – (Satire News) – The principal at Glen Campbell High School informed the media that beavers have literally taken over the campus and the classrooms. Principal Billy Ray “Bubba” Lemoncake, 52, told local reporters that at first, there…
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Restaurants impose a No Mask/No Laugh, No Talk Rule
Now that COVID restrictions are lifted, food establishments are allowed to set their own safety requirements. Many are erring on the side of caution by imposing a No Mask/No Laugh or Talk rule for their patrons. We spoke to Barny Rubbleford, night…
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"Little Old Lady" deemed most stealthy threat for 13th straight year
It seems the innocent, do-gooder, little old ladies of the world are out of luck getting any help crossing the street once again. For the 13th straight year the Ruling Order of Pasty Whites (ROPW) has named the "Little Old Lady" as the most stealthy…
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Ruling Order of Pasty Whites (ROPW) announces top threats for 2021
The ancient and formerly secret society known as the Ruling Order of Pasty Whites has announced the results of its annual Danger Assessment Polls. These polls serve to keep members informed and help them better navigate their world they've so rightly…
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When is being 'Light Blue' not better than being 'Dark Blue?'
Normally speaking being in a 'Light Blue' mood would be more positive than in a 'Dark Blue' mood, philosophically speaking. However, last night 'Light blue' meant severe depression in the city of Manchester as they were 'Blitz-Krieged' by a marauding…
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The Sexy Professional Boxing MILF From Brooklyn Is Still Undefeated
CLEVELAND – (Sports Satire) – The sports media is reporting that 34-year-old Milly Mindafelli, known as “The Boxing MILF” has just won her latest boxing match with a first round knockout over her opponent Delfina Dellaquill of Duck Dung, Alabama.
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Is There Any Salmon Fishing In Yemen?
After that fantastic film with a recipe for really growing salmon in Yemen, did the film crew go back and see if that project could actually work? This would be an experiment in turning reality out of fiction? Fiction is pretty upset with always b…
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