The NFL Will Be Hitting NFL Coaches with Hefty Fines If They Are Caught Without Their Masks
NEW YORK CITY – (Sports Satire) – NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell says that he is not going to baby anyone; especially adult, mature NFL football coaches. The commissioner, who says that he has never had so much stress as he does now, what with wor…
Read full story57 Hurricanes, 83 Earthquakes, and 179 Wildfires, and Still President Trump Insists That There’s No Global Warming
ELEPHANT BUTT, Ohio – (Satire News) – The 45th president spoke to a crowd of supporters and semi-supporters in the tiny town of Elephant Butt. And, right off the bat, he took a shot at the black Democratic vice-presidential candidate, Kamala Harr…
Read full story200,000 Dead, Impeached, A Draft Dodger, Can’t Republicans Do Better?
People around the world are asking: What has happened to the United States of America? The United States has become an insane asylum, and the patients have taken over. Or, it’s The Lord Of The Flies, and Orange Elvis is The Lord. With 200,000 dead…
Read full storyPlease Panic Buy Again, Urge Supermarkets
UK supermarkets and retailers have urged both fat, sweaty halfwits and rich, greedy twats to start hoarding and panic buying again, after news that a minor "lockdown" will be needed to halt the spread of Covid-19. "We need these morons to spend,"…
Read full storyMillennial Film Review: Mel Gibson's Sequel to the Passion of the Christ
The New York Post reports that Mel Gibson has begun work on a sequel to his blockbuster film, “The Passion of the Christ”, which, for those unfamiliar with the Bible, tells the story of a carpenter from Galilee and twelve homeless men who follow him…
Read full storyMan Pours Pepsi Into Coca-Cola Glass And Blows Up Own House
A man from Toronto, Canada discovered the hard way that when you pour something into a decorative Coca-Cola glass, it had better damn well be Coke. For oblivious Torontonian, Shtee Maginnon, pouring his third choice of beverage into one of his fa…
Read full storyCoronavirus Will Vote Trump
President Trump might be suffering from a lack of voter confidence in the pre-election opinion polls, but he can sure count on the support of at least one major player - the Coronavirus. COVID-19 is a big fan of Donald Trump. In fact, it's fair to…
Read full storyGovernment Ministers In A&E Crisis
Government health adviser Gerda Funnifeelin says she is concerned about the Government's response to an A&E crisis. “Many ministers don’t appear to able to distinguish their A from their E,” she said. “That is despite taking their 100k, and being…
Read full storySuicide rates peak in the UK as government announce 10 PM closures in pubs and clubs!
(NOT EDITED) Covid 19 is killing less, no doubt. However, infection rates are soaring all over the planet, and especially in the UK because younger boozers and clubbers are so utterly irresponsible, they are causing 'Covid Peaks' all over the country…
Read full storyHarry Maguire of The Manchester United Red Devils Insists The Performance Enhancing Drugs Were Not His
MANCHESTER, England – (Sports Satire) – London's Tickety Boo News is reporting that Manchester United footballer Jacob Harry Maguire is very upset about the news of him being caught with performance enhancing drugs. The Red Devils star said that h…
Read full storyThe Las Vegas Raiders Defeat The New Orleans Saints 31-24
LAS VEGAS – (Sports Satire) – The new home of the Las Vegas Raiders, Allegiant Stadium, which holds 65,000 fans, had 65,000 empty seats for their game against the New Orleans Saints, due to the Coronapalooza pandemic. Dottie Bazooka with Sports Ba…
Read full storyThe LeBron James - Colby Covington Feud Is Getting Really Nasty
LOS ANGELES – (Sports Satire) – Los Angeles Lakers superstar LeBron James talked with TMZ, and said that this Johnny Come Lately punk UFC fighter Colby Covington’s big mouth, needs to stop writing checks that his body can’t cash, to use an old Swahil…
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