The Las Vegas Raiders Defeat The New Orleans Saints 31-24

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Tuesday, 22 September 2020

image for The Las Vegas Raiders Defeat The New Orleans Saints 31-24
Jon Gruden says it's going to be hard to get used to seeing slot machines in the team's locker room.

LAS VEGAS – (Sports Satire) – The new home of the Las Vegas Raiders, Allegiant Stadium, which holds 65,000 fans, had 65,000 empty seats for their game against the New Orleans Saints, due to the Coronapalooza pandemic.

Dottie Bazooka with Sports Balls Illustrated Magazine said that it was amazing how, anytime the Raiders made a good play, or scored, a loud round of cheers went up, and one could clearly hear hootin’, holler', and basic yippie-ki-yaying.

But when the visiting New Orleans Saints had the ball, one could hear thousands and thousands of boos, along with a scattered smattering of “losers!”, “chumps!”, and “cheaters!”

Bazooka spoke with Raiders Coach Jon Gruden, who said that the cheers and boos were pre-recorded, and were played over the stadium PA system by local disc-jockey, Willie-Willie “The Woke Wonder” Wigglyweather.

Team owner Mark Davis told Miss Dottie that, in order to avoid any possibility of having cheerleaders file any lawsuits, there will be none in the stadium.

Davis noted that Willie-Willie will play pre-recorded cheerleader cheer chants over the stadium's multi-million dollar PA system.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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