Man Pours Pepsi Into Coca-Cola Glass And Blows Up Own House

Funny story written by Stefano M. Stefano

Tuesday, 22 September 2020

image for Man Pours Pepsi Into Coca-Cola Glass And Blows Up Own House
It's the real thing

A man from Toronto, Canada discovered the hard way that when you pour something into a decorative Coca-Cola glass, it had better damn well be Coke.

For oblivious Torontonian, Shtee Maginnon, pouring his third choice of beverage into one of his fancy-shmancy Coke glasses, the kind that have the iconic Coca-Cola design carved into them, proved costly, and now his four-room, million-dollar (Canadian) bungalow is a pile of rubble.

"I was thirsty!" whinned Maginnon. "I wasn't thinking, but I also didn't know this was going to happen! Look at this mess! My wife is gonna klill me! Her Penny Brite doll collection is missing from the explosion! I think they got blown up all the way to Buffalo! And to think I wasted a whole 10 minutes vacuuming and doing the dishes for her, and now it was all for nothing! All of our dishes are imbedded into the neighbours cars! Sorry about that, Mario!"

A little-known fact, thanks to a little investigation by your intrepid reporter: Coke glasses can only hold Coke, or else a nasty chemical reaction will take pl;ace. Have a Coke, you're gonna be okay (except for the, you klnow, diabetes). Pour anything else, but especially number one arch rival, Pepsi Cola, and KA-BLOOEY!!!

No more apartment, flat, condominium, barn, shed, or insanely over-priced Toronto house.

"Was that guy on drugs?! Was he trying to build a bomb?! Is he ISIS?!" cried the President and CEO of Coca-Cola, JImmy 'Pickles' Badagoopa. "There are specific instructions on the box the Coke glasses come in! You can only pour Coca-Cola and Coca-Cola related products in it! Diet Coke, Coke Zero, etc. But, not New Coke! I don't know what we were thinking when we sold that crap! We found it seaping from the Marianas Trench, and thought, what the hell! Let's sell this stuff and see what happens! People will drink anything!"

"I didn't even want Pepsi! But Coke was sold out and so was Mango Lime Mountain Dew Kickstart, so I reluctantly bought a can, just one can of Pepsi! And now look at this mess! And I don't even have my decoratiuve Coke glass anymore! It was my favourite!" Maginnon complained, kicking at some debris at his feet that look suspiciously like Mr. Maginnon's pitiful 431-VHS tape collection, which is also still unaccounted for.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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