Trump To Play Toe Banjo For Fans At Walter Reed Hospital
So jacked up with steroids, amphetamines, painkillers, and experimental drugs, Donald Trump is on the high wagon, feeling no pain, even going for a joyride around the block, waving and smiling at everyone. Totally pumped, he asked for his banjo,…
Read full storyManchester United Captain Harry Maguire Now Valued At Only £80
The Premer League season may only have kicked off three weeks ago, but after a disastrous weekend for Manchester United, when they were humbled 6-1 by Tottenham Hotspur at Old Trafford, fans are keen to offload 'liability' central defender and captai…
Read full storyImagine Trump Going Up The Escalator After January 20, 2021
Donald Trump was witnessed going down the escalator in 2015, introducing his racism to the world, then occupying the White House for four years, exercising an agenda of incompetence, to the extent of over 200,000 dead due to the coronavirus. But, in…
Read full storyPresident Trump's Corpse Could Be Flown To Saturn
After President Donald Trump tested positive for the Coronavirus, COVID-19 last week, it's been suggested that, if he should succumb to the virus, his remains might be flown to Saturn in a reinforced titanium cask, to prevent the dangerous chemicals…
Read full storyPresidential Debates To Be Settled By An Election
The controversial series of televised debates between President Donald Trump and his Democratic Party rival, Joe Biden, which have stunned the country with their intense feeling and high-level intellectual arguments, are to be settled with an electio…
Read full storyAmateur Dancers need to boost country's morale, again
Following on from last year, Amateur Dancers, better known for doing something else equally important in the world, are once again looking forward to dancing in front of complete strangers, to lift the morale of a country that is routinely let down b…
Read full storyTrump is Ready to Resume Essential Duties: Golf, Twitter, Watching Fox News, Super Spreader Cult Rallies
Washington - President Trump is ready to return to the White House after battling the effects of a COVID-19 infection he acquired while unnecessarily celebrating the nomination of Amy Coney Barrett to the United States Supreme Court in the White Hous…
Read full storyPresident Trump’s Doctors Reveal That He Does Not Have a Backbone
BETHESDA, Maryland – (Satire News) – Reports coming out of Walter Reed Hospital state that President Trump’s physicians were extremely shocked when they discovered that he doesn't have a backbone. They say they made the discovery within 10 minutes…
Read full storyLiverpool, Manchester United and City demand to wear tight latex shorts after being comprehensively 'stuffed!'!
(NOT EDITED) Three of the so-called top teams in the English Premier League have all been caught with their baggy shorts dangling around their knees and are demanding changes! Liverpool, Man United and City players are begging their clubs to purch…
Read full storyDoctor’s Reveal That They Have Learned That President Trump Has a Pre-Existing Condition
BETHESDA, Maryland – (Satire News) – Trump’s team of 19 doctors, 27 nurses, and an enema specialist, say, off-the-record, that he is one of the most difficult patients they have ever seen. The doctors say that when they tell him his temperature is…
Read full storyPresident Trump Is So Desperate For Attention That He Gets Out of His Hospital Bed and Does a Drive-By
BETHESDA, Maryland – (Satire News) – Trump is such an egomaniacal turdhead that he can’t stand not being in the spotlight 24/7. The bozo has to always be the center of attention, or else he'll pout and start calling those around him childish, imma…
Read full storyThe Play-From-Behind Dallas Cowboys Are Going to Have to Put Their Shovels Away
DALLAS – (Sports Satire) – The Dallas Cowboys seem to have made a habit of digging themselves into a hole, early on in the game, and then having the difficult task of having to play-from-behind. Cowboys owner Jerry Jones told the Sports Bet Gazett…
Read full storyHope Hicks Reveals That President Trump Gave Her The Coronavirus
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – Hope Hicks has come out and revealed that she got the Coronavirus from President Trump, and not the other way around, as Fox News, Donald Trump, and Kimberly Guilfoyle are claiming. Hope spoke with Vodka Vermicel…
Read full storyLos Angeles Clippers Super Star Kawhi Leonard Denies That He Is Secretly Dating Kim Kardashian
LOS ANGELES – (Sports Satire) - Reports filtering out of Tinsel Town are that Kim Kardashian and NBA super star Kawahi Leonard are secretly dating. Bedroom Pillow Talk’s Carolina Chipotle stated that she received a text from an LAPD officer statin…
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