Liverpool, Manchester United and City demand to wear tight latex shorts after being comprehensively 'stuffed!'!

Funny story written by Jaggedone

Monday, 5 October 2020

image for Liverpool, Manchester United and City demand to wear tight latex shorts after being comprehensively 'stuffed!'!
No chance of these latex shorts infiltrating footy, they are worn by REAL sportsmen and women, not pathetic pansies!

(NOT EDITED) Three of the so-called top teams in the English Premier League have all been caught with their baggy shorts dangling around their knees and are demanding changes!

Liverpool, Man United and City players are begging their clubs to purchase latex, tight-fitting shorts similar to those worn by real sportsmen, Tour-De-France racing bikers!

Although the excuses for being thrashed by Aston Villa (7-2), Tottenham (6-1), and Leicester (5-2) last week are bountiful like:

The grass was too long. Anthony Martial is a 'slap-head', Pep Guardiola is a Catalan tosser, Klopp speaks Kraut-English, Ole Solskjaer lives in a Norwegian Wood with trees in front of his eyes and, City's centerbacks are pansies, etc. etc.

Still searching for reasons, and pathetic excuses, players of the 3 top teams are convinced having baggy shorts dangling around their knees is slowing them down! However, there is one problem, the English FA has banned latex tight fitting shorts because they believe them to be unethical and sexually inappropriate after Linford Christie's dangling bunch of grapes caused an embarrassing sensation many years ago!

In addition, tight and shorty-shorts are very difficult to wear in a footy game because 'grabbing each other's goolies, a la Vinny Jones style'. could become common place in the game again! And, after a sliding tackle, who knows what could be revealed, burnt bums or 'muchas cojones!'

It seems like the top elite 3 teams in England will just have to start playing decent footy instead of whining and whinging about their disadvantages after being 'comprehensively stuffed' by their so-called subordinate colleagues.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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