Washington - President Trump is ready to return to the White House after battling the effects of a COVID-19 infection he acquired while unnecessarily celebrating the nomination of Amy Coney Barrett to the United States Supreme Court in the White House Rose Garden.
Several attendees came down with COVID-19 at the Trump gathering. After Trump ridiculed Americans who wear masks and social distance, few followed those practices at the event, including the prospective judge and her family.
After speaking to the American people, Trump apologized for his cavalier attitude towards the disease, and offered prayers for the attendees that got sick at his pointless gathering. Just kidding, he didn’t do any of those things.
On Monday, White House Chief Mark Meadows said the President was ready to return to his important presidential duties of conducting Red Hat cult worship rallies, golf, watching Hannity and Carlson on Fox News, eating hamburgers and insulting his detractors on Twitter.