WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – Hope Hicks has come out and revealed that she got the Coronavirus from President Trump, and not the other way around, as Fox News, Donald Trump, and Kimberly Guilfoyle are claiming.
Hope spoke with Vodka Vermicelli with the iRumors News Agency, and showed her a photo of Trump kissing her on the mouth, which is how he gave her the Trumpapalooza virus, as she refers to it.
The 31-year-old Hicks says that Trump is the meanest man she has ever known. She said that he is always telling his wife Melania, that she really needs to do something about that horrible Slovenian accent of hers.
Hope adds that the President definitely suffers from the Napoleon Complex, when it comes to his “Little Donnie.”
Trump’s chief adviser said that Stormy Daniels and her text each other every now and then, and they’ll spend 30 minutes just making fun of Trump’s fake-hair, his fake-university, and his fake-genitals.
Hope, who is a very attractive woman, pointed out that Donald has told her, on many occasions, that when he divorces Melania, she will become his fourth wife.
When she was asked if she would, in fact, marry Trump, she immediately said, “Hell, no! I wouldn’t marry that racist, pus*y-grabbing bully if he offered me the entire state of Florida."