Way Trump Can Win Debate
The best way for Donald Trump to win the final presidential debate? Don’t show up. Lie (should be a snap) and say you are staying home to take care of ailing third wife, making a slow recovery from the coronavirus. Claim to be making a chicken so…
Read full storyMan Says He'd Like To Rip President Trump's Head Off, And Shit Down His Throat
A man who has become completely fed up of news about the US presidential election, and so entirely disillusioned with the state of politics in general, and American politics in particular, has said that, if the opportinity ever arose, he'd very much…
Read full storyBiden Receiving Juvenile Chimpanzee Blood Plasma Before Debate
BILLINGSGATE POST: If Sleepy Joe comes out swinging from a vine before the debate tomorrow night, don’t be surprised. The secret is out. He is receiving chimpanzee blood plasma transfusions this week to rejuvenate himself. Crack investigative r…
Read full story41% of passing cars are black, observes Statistics Canada intern from dining room table
New Statistics Canada staff member Dwayne Nixon observed yesterday that more than two-fifths of cars passing his dining room window between the hours of 6:00 a.m. and 6:00 p.m. were black, far exceeding the previous daily high of 24% recorded 56 days…
Read full storyMan now experimenting with Enya and Lighthouse Family albums
Man about town Raymond Ving has begun to experiment with the hardcore heavy metal stylings of Enya and the Lighthouse Family. 'My girlfriend, Emma, walked out on me after I replaced my Led Zeppelin albums with the collected works of Cliff Richard.
Read full storyMadchester grave on
It is a city of grim brick factories and grey terraced houses inhabited by simians, all dripping with constant rain. Now Manchester is more miserable than ever, with the news that it is under the tightest level of lockdown in the UK due to coronaviru…
Read full storyGreen Bay Packers Quarterback Aaron Rodgers Says Ndamukong Suh is The Dirtiest Player in Football
GREEN BAY – (Sports Satire) – The Sports Bet Gazette is reporting that Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers is extremely upset at the fact that Tampa Bay Buccaneers defensive end Ndamukong Suh was not called for several flagrant penalties. Rodgers po…
Read full storyKim Jong-un Says North Korea Has Just Developed a Powerful Missile That Can Hit Iowa
PYONGYANG, North Korea – (Satire News) – President Trump’s favorite pen pal, Kim Jong-un, has just informed the world media that he has developed the most powerful missile on earth. The North Korean leader, who credits Trump for helping him perfec…
Read full storyPediatricians Report Kids Are More Afraid of Trump’s Halloween Mask, Than of Any Halloween Mask on The Market
CHICAGO – (Satire News) – Many of the nation’s pediatricians are declaring that children are much more afraid of President Trump Halloween masks than of any other Halloween mask in the stores. Dr. Dundee P. Rattler, associate dean at Left Coast Co…
Read full storyPresident Trump Campaigns in Pennsylvania and Calls Dr. Fauci, Senator Sasse, and Tucker Carlson Idiots
QUAKER OATS, Pennsylvania – (Political Satire) – A White House source reveals that Trump is getting crazier and crazier with each passing day. The source told iNews, the president cannot stand that millions of his supporters are now starting to se…
Read full storyLegendary Singer Linda Ronstadt Says Trump is The Second Most Evil Person in History – Just a Tad Below Adolf Hitler
HOLLYWOOD – (Satire News) – Linda Ronstadt, the singer who has sold over 100 millon records, recently spoke with LaLaLand Daily's Macadamia Honeysuckle, and informed her that she can not believe that a person as mean, as hateful, and evil, as Donald…
Read full storyYou Don't Hear Anything About Elvis Presley These Days
It's funny how, during the 1950s, 1960s, and some of the 1970s, the name of Elvis Presley was never far from anyone's lips. The singer and actor was inescapable. He recorded countless singles and albums, sang to packed houses everywhere he went, and…
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