Man Says He'd Like To Rip President Trump's Head Off, And Shit Down His Throat

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Wednesday, 21 October 2020

image for Man Says He'd Like To Rip President Trump's Head Off, And Shit Down His Throat
Trump's decapitated head (artist's impression)

A man who has become completely fed up of news about the US presidential election, and so entirely disillusioned with the state of politics in general, and American politics in particular, has said that, if the opportinity ever arose, he'd very much like to rip President Donald Trump's head off, and shit down his throat.

The man, Moys Kenwood, 57, feels he has been bombarded and totally overwhelmed by constant news of President Trump's ridiculous antics and nonsensical utterings, and would gleefully wreak great vengeance upon him, if only the chance would present itself.

Various political low points have been reached during Trump's term as leader, but he never stops, and, rather than just wanting him to lose the November 3 presidential election, Kenwood says he'd like to 'go one further', and to do something demonstrably vicious.

"Yes," he said, "it would be easy to have him arrested, tried and, hopefully, imprisoned, once he loses against Biden, but I'm trying to be more creative."

Trump has plumbed the depths of bad behavior since January 2016, alienating great swathes of both the American public and leaders abroad, with his one-man demolition of once-proud US political institutions, and reducing to dust the long-standing solid relations the country had with its neighbors, both north and south.

Said Kenwood:

"I could quite pull his innards out. Or pour a bucket of blood over his head. Anything to please the crowds!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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