Man about town Raymond Ving has begun to experiment with the hardcore heavy metal stylings of Enya and the Lighthouse Family.
'My girlfriend, Emma, walked out on me after I replaced my Led Zeppelin albums with the collected works of Cliff Richard. I should have taken that as a sign, shouldn't I?'
Emma said: 'It was bad enough with the heavy metal albums, but Ray is only 43 - he shouldn't be listening to this soft, whinnying pap. New Age you say? Enya is only suitable for people who still think it is the 90s!'
'My life has gone to pot,' continued Ray, 'but at least I can buy all of Enya's and the Lighthouse Family's albums for less than a re-issued box set of Black Lace, so it is something to be grateful for. Shall I put that Shephard Moon is my favourite album on my profile on Firestarter.com?'