
The Police Not Really Members Of The Police
In arresting news that is set to rock the world of rock music, it's been revealed that the members of The Police - Sting, Andy Summers and Stewart Copeland - were not actually members of the police force, but mere musicians. In a further astonishi…
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Sleepy Joe Biden: Trying To Think, But Nothing Happens
BILLINGSGATE POST: Today, Democrats unleashed a three-pronged attack on President Trump. Resorting to antics first used back in the 1930's by Larry, Moe and Curly of the Three Stooges, their present-day counterparts, Sleepy Joe Biden, Kamala “Breath…
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Is Trump Nuts?
Is Donald Trump nuts? Do you have to ask? Didn’t your mommy tell you to keep away from men who talked to themselves? They’re sitting on a park bench in conversation with self. Or walking down the street, shadow boxing along the way. Ladies who ta…
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Trumper Militia Kidnap Mitch McConnell and Force Him to Stay at Covid Infested White House
Louisville - A Kentucky pro-Trump militia have kidnapped Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell from his home here, and have transported him to the White House grounds where he will be held until the election. Militia members became enraged at McC…
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Dolly Parton Says If Trump Were To Grab Her Pussy, It Would Tear His Hand Off
Dolly Parton, the mega-successful Country and Western chanteuse, has broken her own self-imposed rule about keeping quiet on the subject of politics by firing a 'warning shot across the bows' of the US president, Donald J. Trump. Commenting on the…
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President Trump Rejected As Host For Children's Storytime Show
President Donald Trump, who had been earmarked as a host for a new Children's Storytime show after he had vacated the White House, has been rejected for the position, after children across the country said he had no credibility left. The outgoing…
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The President Trump Halloween Mask is The Nation’s #1 Seller
LOS ANGELES – (Satire News) – The Los Angeles Post-Gazette has just noted that the number one-selling Halloween mask for this Halloween season is the President Donald Trump mask. One of the nation’s leading Halloween mask producers, Masks & A…
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The White House Rose Garden Has Been Fumigated 9 Times and It's Still Testing Positive For The Coronavirus
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – A White House insider has stated that due to the fact that the Rose Garden is infested with the Coronavirus, it is probably going to have to be completely demolished. One of the White House gardeners, Napoleon Tr…
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NFL Referees Will Begin Implementing a New Strict Coronavirus Mask Rule
NEW YORK CITY – (Sports Satire) – Commissioner Roger Goodell of the NFL has just issued a very strong directive to every one of the NFL teams. He has said that, due to so many players and coaches being stricken by C-19, he is instructing all NFL r…
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New England Patriots Coach Bill Belichick Admits The Pats May Have to Scrap Their Season
GILLETTE, Massachusetts – (Sports Satire) – A very somber Coach Bill Belichick told sports reporters that the Coronavirus has really had a heavy impact on his team. He noted that Cam Newton, Stephon Gilmore, and several other players, as well as s…
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Rock Paper Scissors Tournament
In Watkinsonville, GA - Chik-fil-a hosted a Rock Paper Scissors tournament where the winner received free food for one year. Seth Welch was the lucky winner, in what the assistant marketing director called a good chance for the restaurant to meet and…
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Dutch bike-rider gets lost in Belgian hills!
(NOT EDITED) Not quite used to hilly terrein, a Dutch bike-rider decided to go for a weekend biking trip to neighboring Belgian where the terrein tends to be more hilly, and not as flat as a pancake. After several hours of biking up and down gradi…
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