Dutch bike-rider gets lost in Belgian hills!

Funny story written by Jaggedone

Sunday, 11 October 2020

image for Dutch bike-rider gets lost in Belgian hills!
No more Belgian hills for this Dutch-Biker-Nutter, they only speak French and it's always misty there!

(NOT EDITED) Not quite used to hilly terrein, a Dutch bike-rider decided to go for a weekend biking trip to neighboring Belgian where the terrein tends to be more hilly, and not as flat as a pancake.

After several hours of biking up and down gradients, getting virtually nowhere, and totally knackered, he decided to stop to tank some energy. But the Ardennes region being what it is, very dodgy as far as the weather goes, did what it always does in autumn, went suddenly misty!

A pea-soup mist landed on the Dutch-biker's head and he desperately needed a rest. Not really knowing where the hell he was, and slowly getting dark, he rung his missus up in Holland and asked her to inform the Belgian police that he was lost, freezing cold, and knackered!

She asked him where he was, and being Double-Dutch, he answered, "I don't know, godverdomme, but get me fucking out of here!" She rung the Belgian police and told them of her dilemma. They told her they're too busy fining Belgian beer-boozing idiots ignoring corona warnings.

In a panic, she called her hubby back, but luckily, a passing Belgian farmer passed by in his tractor and took the biker back to his farm for a 'lecker' cup of hot tea. He was saved!

The Dutch biker vowed never to go alone to Belgium again, and promised his missus he would only bike in a country where he can see for miles, with no hills, or mist blocking his view. In addition, to a country where people do not refuse to speak any other language than French, merde!

He is now planning a bike trip to Denmark because their country is as flat as a pancake just like Holland, they are multi-lingual just like the Dutch, and their police are not too busy fining Danish-beer-boozing idiots ignoring corona because up there people tend to be quite 'corona-free'.

He thought about going to the UK, but decided against it because of Brexit, BOJO, and sloshed Brits ignoring everything they are told to do!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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