The Police Not Really Members Of The Police

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Sunday, 11 October 2020

image for The Police Not Really Members Of The Police
A copper earlier

In arresting news that is set to rock the world of rock music, it's been revealed that the members of The Police - Sting, Andy Summers and Stewart Copeland - were not actually members of the police force, but mere musicians.

In a further astonishing revelation, it's now known that 'Sting' wasn't Sting's real name.

Sting, who had a string of solo hits after leaving the band, wrote most of the hits for The Police, starting with 'Roxanne', a song about a girl called Roxanne, 'Message in a Bottle' a song about a message in a bottle, and 'Don't Stand So Close To Me', a song about social distancing.

They also sang 'De Do Do', but it's not clear what that was all about.

It had been thought that the three lads were pure and simple 'Bobbies on the beat', but their case has finally been cracked, and their long-held secret thrust out into the public eye.

Drummer Stewart Copeland had, for a period of time during his teenage years, considered joining the police force, but then he remembered that All coppers are bastards, and flushed the idea down the toilet.

The Police have apologised for any misunderstanding caused amongst their fanbase.

The police are not investigating.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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