Bill Clinton Endorses Joe Biden: Sniffing Hair Safer Than Oral Sex
BILLINGSGATE POST: Last week during the virtual Democrat convention, Joe Biden received a backhanded endorsement from Bill Clinton, who was called upon to praise the moral virtues of the Democrat nominee for president. In a rare admission that he…
Read full storyMelania Trump Sings for Her Husband from the Rose Garden
We beg your pardon, we never promised you a rose garden. Along with the sunshine, there's got to be a lot of death sometimes. When a pandemic strikes you got to die and let go! “It is what it is,” ‘cause Donald never promised you a rose garden.
Read full storyHarry Telephones William About Getting Back To England
Done with La La Land, Prince Harry put in a fast call to William about the best way to get back home for a visit during the pandemic. William suggested hitching to New York and swimming. “Bro, be serious! People in Kardashianland don’t even dri…
Read full storyLionel Messi Signs For Hull City
There was astonishment on a fairly grand scale in East Yorkshire this afternoon, as League One newboys Hull City announced that they had swooped to land the signature of Barcelona's wantaway Argentinian star, Lionel Messi. The Tigers were relegate…
Read full storyWorld's Oldest Man's Death Sparks Police Inquiry
Police in South Africa have said their investigation into the death of the world's oldest man has already started, and that they will leave no stone unturned in their battle to find out just what happened. Fredie Blom, who was 116 when he died, wa…
Read full storyBette Midler Interrupted Her Las Vegas Show to Apologize for Saying That Melania Trump Has an Accent
LAS VEGAS – (Satire News) - Entertainment Tonight is reporting that Bette Midler stopped in the middle of singing her song “The Ballad of Fanny LaFlu” to apologize to first lady Melania Trump. Earlier that morning, Midler had said that Melania's a…
Read full storyThe Owner of the Washington Redskins May Have To Sell The Team After Another 52 Former Cheerleaders File Sexual Harassment Lawsuits
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Sports Satire) - The Sports Bet Gazette is reporting that things are really starting to heat up for Washington football team owner, Daniel "Woe Is Me" Snyder. SBG is reporting that 52 more ex-Washington cheerleaders have come f…
Read full storyThe Minnesota Twins and The Cleveland Indians Brawl Injures the Indians Bat Boy
CLEVELAND – (Sports Satire) - MLB Commissioner Rob Manfred has been warning all the teams about their childish, immature bench-clearing brawls, and now the unthinkable has happened. One of these pushing matches that make these macho ball players l…
Read full storyThe Bravo Network Cancels Aaron Rodgers and Danica Patrick's Reality Show, “Looking in on Aaron & Danica’s Naked Life”
NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) - The Bravo Network has just announced that it has cancelled one of its most viewed reality shows. “Looking in on Aaron & Danica’s Naked Life” will be removed from their schedule after the final three episodes ai…
Read full storyMore Suggestions On Removing Trump After He Loses Election
Citizens of both parties are becoming concerned about Donald Trump’s threat not to leave the White House after he loses the election. He is already advancing the notion that, if he did, indeed, lose, it would mean that the election was rigged, and he…
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