CLEVELAND – (Sports Satire) - MLB Commissioner Rob Manfred has been warning all the teams about their childish, immature bench-clearing brawls, and now the unthinkable has happened.
One of these pushing matches that make these macho ball players look like female volleyballers has resulted in an injury.
Little 8-year-old Wesley Portobello, who is the Indians batboy, was injured when, during a bench-clearing incident in the first inning, Twins centerfielder Byron Buxton pushed Indians first baseman Carlos Santana.
Santana went flying into little Wesley, who was holding a medium Pepsi-Cola and a tray of nachos.
Wesley’s soda and his nachos went flying, and he found himself pinned between the backstop and Santana.
Both Wesley and Carlos were yelling at the top of their lungs. Luckily the ball girl, who is only 19, aided Wesley by performing mouth-to-mouth on him.
Wesley was put in an ambulance and rushed to the hospital, shaken up, but with a big, gigantic smile the size of Dallas on his face.