Joe Biden Picks Dykes On Bikes Member As Running Mate
BILLINGSGATE POST: During the past week, a number of very prominent women - all politicians - have had their names mentioned as possible choices for Joe Biden as running mates. Among those mentioned were Pocahontas, Kamala (Breath) Harris and Stacy...
Read full storyMan watching pointless episode of 'Pointless'
Gary Johnson, 48-year-old consumer of popular culture, has wasted 45 minutes of his life watching a bloopers and out-takes edition of 'Pointless'. Complaining to wife, Lorraine, he grumbled: 'That's forty-five minutes I won't get back. It was just...
Read full storyMan invents video chat with punching
Fed up of being unable to introduce physical violence to his online conversations, Geoff Thump has developed ThumpChat, the world's first-ever video chat with the ability to punch other people. "I was having my usual weekly video chat with my mate...
Read full storyMan Stocks Up On Underpants During Shopping Visit
A man who was making a visit to the supermarket to get some essential groceries for his 83-year-old mam, has responded to claims that he was wasting shopworkers' time yesterday - by purchasing underpants. Staff and customers of the Tesco Superstor...
Read full storyProgressives Explain It’s Not Martial Law, It’s Viral Law
After years of questioning United States President Donald Trump’s sweeping use of executive powers and internationally provocative militarism, American progressives, thanks to COVID-19, have embraced a sweeping infringement of civil liberties, explai...
Read full storyHoly Kit! Wacky Robes Raise Pope Fears
CONCERNS are growing for the mental health of the Pope, following his latest bizarre address to the pigeons in St Peter's Square. The virtually empty square, normally crowded by thousands of worshippers, has been witness to previous masses with th...
Read full storyMegyn Kelly Challenges Don Lemon to an Arm Wrestling Contest
MANHATTAN – Former anchorwoman, Megyn Kelly, says that she is tired of being cooped up in her multi-million dollar apartment. The former darling of Fox News and NBC told her husband that she is still upset with Don Lemon, and how he disrespected h...
Read full storyKid Rock Says He Has a Man Crush on President Trump
DETROIT – Music Moments Magazine recently interviewed Robert James Ritchie, who is better known as Kid Rock. The alternative rap metal rocker said that he is pissed that his “Kid Rock Rocks The Bad Ass USA Tour” has been cancelled. He told MMMs...
Read full storyTaylor Swift Explains Why She Fired Her Vuvuzela Player
MEMPHIS, Tennessee - It’s no secret that Taylor Swift has one of the best bands in the music business. Her band members are all seasoned veterans who have played with everyone from Shakira and Miley Cyrus to Willie Nelson and The Roseanne Barr Bl...
Read full storyOprah Winfrey Donates 202 Pairs of Her Shoes to the Red Cross
MONTECITO, California – The undisputed Queen of Daytime Television recently admitted that she is starting to miss the day-to-day grind of doing a TV talk show. Oprah, who turned 66 in January, said that she has been keeping busy growing okra, onio...
Read full storyGovernor Cuomo Takes Trump To The Woodshed
New York Governor Andrew Cuomo took Donald Trump to the woodshed, but unlike the spanking Stormy Daniels gave Trump, this one was a Wowza. Ouch! “I’ve said, 'Thank you' many times. Does he expect me to send him a bouquet of flowers?” “Maybe he...
Read full storyMan Admits He Talks To Himself
A man who would not reveal his identity for fear of appearing somewhat strange, has told of how he often talks to himself. Talking to oneself is considered by many people to suggest something eccentric, quirky, or even mad, but our man said he fin...
Read full storyRecipe For A Genuine, Basic Anti-virus Punch (To hopefully give Mr. Mean COVID-19 a one/two punch!)
Note to Editor- this is actually a very serious article that I have thrown a few jokes into to make it palatable to a humor audience. But I feel the information therein is vital to our times. NOTE- These are actual, real recipes that logical...
Read full storyNew Aftershave Will Help With Social Distancing
A brand new aftershave that is due to be released onto the commercial market on Monday, is being touted as the perfect gift for those women who are finding social distancing from their man so difficult. Indeed, it will act like a shield. The af...
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