Man Admits He Talks To Himself

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Saturday, 18 April 2020

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A man who would not reveal his identity for fear of appearing somewhat strange, has told of how he often talks to himself.

Talking to oneself is considered by many people to suggest something eccentric, quirky, or even mad, but our man said he finds talking to himself the most natural thing in the world.

"I still have arguments," he said, "but fewer than I had with my ex-wife!"

The simpleton says he often has full-blown conversations, taking first one side, and then the other, always trying to be fair, and seeing things from both perspectives.

On a larger scale, he conducts lively TV-style debates as he's walking down the street, being both questioner and answerer - and mediator as well, if this becomes necessary.

He also holds 'meetings', attended by several 'employees', at which things can often get "jolly rowdy". Indeed, he often has to step in and ask himself to be quiet, to show some restraint, and, on one notable occasion, to apologise for something that he had said.

As an exercise in creativity, he often 'interviews' celebrities and higher-authority figures, such as the Queen, Boris Johnson, and President Trump, explaining how he would do their jobs, and offering them free and unbiased feedback and advice.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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