MONTECITO, California – The undisputed Queen of Daytime Television recently admitted that she is starting to miss the day-to-day grind of doing a TV talk show.
Oprah, who turned 66 in January, said that she has been keeping busy growing okra, onions, olives, and watermelons in her garden.
She remarked that she went through her walk-in closet the other day, and decided to get rid of some of her television clothes items.
Winfrey ended up with 202 pairs of shoes that she decided to donate to the Red Cross, since hurricane season is right around the corner.
Her live-in boyfriend, Stedman Graham, suggested that she get rid of a lot more stuff, so she will also be donating hundreds of dresses, blouses, pants, bikini swimsuits, and one of her two pet llamas.
She said that the llamas have started mating, and pointed out that those things make the most horrendously loud noises during their breeding sessions.
Stedman agreed, saying: “Man, dem lawmurs can sho nuff be louds and all. I do swears dat dey can bees even louder den dat butt-ugly Ann Coulter bitch-woman.”