Nigel Farage believes the Earth is flat
Having wallowed in the gutter end of UK politics for three decades, Nigel Farage has always been an extreme character. Now he has embraced his lunacy in full, and has publicly admitted to being a Flat Earth believer. "It's obvious," said the torto...
Read full storyRepublicans Follow Putin's Advice: Cancel Presidential Primaries
Moscow, Russia. Vladimir Putin sent congratulatory telegrams to Republican leaders in the four states that have cancelled their presidential primaries in order to keep three Republican challengers to Trump off the ballot. "You have made the right...
Read full storyBolton down Pompeo and Graham to go
Mr. Trump’s quest for world peace continues with more breathless anticipation now that John Bolton has “resigned” from the leadership of the NSA. Mr. Bolton, who according to the president “never saw a war he didn’t like,” has been reported at odd...
Read full storyTrump and Wilbur Ross Order NOAA Staffers to Send Tropical Storm Humberto to California
Washington - President Trump spoke to reporters this morning alongside an altered map of the path of Tropical Storm Humberto, showing that the storm, not yet a hurricane, will cross the Gulf of Mexico, gain hurricane strength, and head straight acros...
Read full storyFaith Healing Rebrands as Holistic Health Remedy
Turning around a near-century-long slump in new customer acquisitions, proponents of healing via faith, prayer, and the laying of hands have successfully rebranded their variety of spiritual ministration as a holistic health remedy. "There's no re...
Read full storyHarry Maguire Wins National Lottery
In a story almost too unbelievable to be believed, the Manchester United and England centre-half, Harry Maguire's namesake, Mr. H Maguire of Manchester, has won the National Lottery jackpot this weekend. Mr. Maguire, whose first name - coincidenta...
Read full storyMan Was Captivated By Air Hostess During Airline Onboard Safety Check
A male passenger on an airline flight from Helsinki to Bangkok at the weekend has revealed how he was "mesmerised" by one of the flight's stewardesses during the airline safety check procedure at the commencement of his journey. The passenger, 56,...
Read full storyHumberto Headed to Alabama Says Donald Trump!
Donald Trump, sharpie in hand, made some bold predictions today about Tropical Storm Humberto. Shouldered by two new "official" White House meteorologists, Trump placed a map on a tripod and began drawing with his sharpie. He created several rings fr...
Read full storyMan Impaled On Fencepost Will Not Be At Work On Monday
A man who fell 30 feet from a building onto a steel fencepost is lucky to be alive this evening, say medical staff, but he won't be at work on Monday. Peter Wolfe, 30, a construction worker on a new housing project in Minneapolis, was carrying a l...
Read full storyH&M To Consider Namechange After Confusion With Famous Footballer
The fashion clothing retailer, H&M, are said to be considering a namechange for their brand, after it was revealed that many of their customers are under the impression that the company is run by the Manchester United and England central defender...
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