Man Impaled On Fencepost Will Not Be At Work On Monday

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Sunday, 15 September 2019

image for Man Impaled On Fencepost Will Not Be At Work On Monday

A man who fell 30 feet from a building onto a steel fencepost is lucky to be alive this evening, say medical staff, but he won't be at work on Monday.

Peter Wolfe, 30, a construction worker on a new housing project in Minneapolis, was carrying a long length of lumber with a workmate, when he stumbled over a brick left on floorboards on the second story of a building, and tumbled towards the ground.

His fall was broken by the fencepost, which went in through his right shoulder and out through the right side of his abdomen.

He was rushed to a local hospital where doctors took more than nine hours to successfully remove the post. Amazingly, no damage was done to his critical organs.

A doctor at the hospital said:

"Monday might be too soon! He's going to need a lengthy period of recovery before he can go back to work."

Mr. Wolfe's boss at the building firm, Harold McGwyer, said:

"It's one thing after another with this guy. Always crying off! Always sick! When he gets back to work, he can start by cleaning up that fencepost!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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