Slim Everdingle’s Wife Throws Away Gold Coins Because Dates Had Expired
BILLINGSGATE POST: “I believe her.” Slim Everdingle told his sidekick. “Irina told me that she threw away my collection of $20 Gold Double Eagles because their dates had expired.” Slim estimated that there were at least 100 of these babies that...
Read full storyMan still thinks he is in with a chance
Although he has not spoken to her for more than forty years, and she has been happily married to a perfect man for 25 of those, grammar pedant Brian Asshat, 63, still believes that he has a chance with the love of his early twenties, Karen Brassingth...
Read full storyMan shocked to realise he is 'that' man
A man in Chutney on the Fritz has realised that he is actually 'that' man. Brian Asshat, 63 always thought that he was being helpful, but was both shocked and saddened to be told that he wasn't. 'For more years than I care to remember,' said th...
Read full storyPlan To Rename 2020 London Marathon
It's been run every year since 1981, and is one of the most popular 'public competitor' events in the world, but from next year, 2020, the London Marathon is to undergo a massive identity transplant - it will be known as the London Snickers. The n...
Read full storyLondon Marathon Winner Kept On Running All The Way Back To Kenya
The 39th London Marathon has been won by Kenyan distance specialist Eliud Kipchoge, who scampered over the line ahead of a huge field, and kept on running - all the way back to Kenya! Kipchoge, 38, completed the 26 miles and 385 yards in a time of...
Read full storyElton John is not actually gay
For decades, Elton John has prided himself on being one of the most annoyingly obvious homosexuals on Earth. However, his apparent act as a "brown dirt cowboy" is based on a lie. TheSpoof can exclusively reveal that Elton is, in fact, a half-man,...
Read full storyUnderpaid Workers Happy to Help Capitalism Thrive
After contract workers at a major New York City consulting firm discovered that the company was making hundreds of millions of dollars off their services while they themselves received no benefits and only a stingy and utterly static hourly wage, mos...
Read full storyMan Wouldn't Mind Going To A Cricket Match
A man from Yorkshire has given an indication to friends that, after having endured so many years without attending a cricket match, he now spends hours dreaming about hearing the thwack of leather against willow again. Moys Kenwood, 55, was remini...
Read full storyFarmers Discuss What A Lettuce Would Be Called, If It Wasn't Called A Lettuce
High-level discussions have been taking place on an agricultural estate in Lincolnshire this afternoon, with regard to what people would call a lettuce if it wasn't already known as a lettuce. For those who are not 'in the know', an agricultural e...
Read full storyLonely College Student Sincerely Hopes He Can Find Controlling Woman To Completely Destroy His Life Upon Graduation
Jefferson County, Wisconsin. Soul-crushing despair and unfathomable depression penetrated the highly-sensitive heart of Brad Williams on Thursday, April 18th, at 7:45 pm while he was trying to read a Sociology textbook in his dorm room. Confuse...
Read full storyMan Arrested for Murdering a Reclining Chair in Local Furniture Store
A man was arrested for brutally murdering an innocent reclining chair in an upstate furniture store. Canner Villhurdyou of Sheedheel Hollow was shopping for furniture with his girlfriend Mila Ripyou when he fell upon the recliner in a fit of rage.
Read full storyGolf Umbrella Was Not 'Fit For Purpose'
A heavy downpour of torrential rain at an English city golf course at the weekend, confirmed for one man a sneaking suspicion he already had about an umbrella he had acquired from a charity shop for just 50p: that it was not 'fit for purpose'. The...
Read full storyDo It Yourself Health Care - Yes, It Has Come To That.
In our modern, stressful world paying for healthcare we often get burned The pursuit of our happiness and health usually means needing a lot of wealth Hospitals, drugs and nursing care can rip our poor bank accounts bare But, fear not, there is...
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