Slim Everdingle’s Wife Throws Away Gold Coins Because Dates Had Expired

Written by Dr. Billingsgate

Sunday, 28 April 2019

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I Believe Her

BILLINGSGATE POST: “I believe her.” Slim Everdingle told his sidekick. “Irina told me that she threw away my collection of $20 Gold Double Eagles because their dates had expired.”

Slim estimated that there were at least 100 of these babies that he had stored in a Folgers Coffee can underneath his bed. Their current value is about $1500 a piece.

He related the story to Dirty Trick: "The other night I went to check on the coins, and they weren't there. I asked Irina if she knew where they were. She said that she was cleaning the house and getting rid of a lot of old stuff. Said she threw them in the trash with some other outdated crap in the refrigerator and some old underwear and socks that had seen better days.”

Dirty Trick: “I believe her.”

Irina, one of the team of Russian hookers made famous for peeing on President Trump’s hotel bed, is 23 years old with big hooters and hairy armpits. She replaced Slim’s first wife, who died two years ago of mysterious causes. Not wanting to live a lonely life of celibacy, Slim fell victim to his weakness for sex and vodka shooters while on assignment in Moscow.

Slim and Irina met in same hotel bar where Trump was staying. It was the start of a beautiful relationship. It ended with Slim being stiffed for 150 Extra-Large.

Dirty Trick: “What could go wrong?”

UPDATE: Irina is now back in Russia visiting her family. Slim last heard from her two weeks ago. She said she had spent all of her money and needed some cash to get back to America.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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