Underpaid Workers Happy to Help Capitalism Thrive

Written by Chrissy Benson

Sunday, 28 April 2019

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Underpaid contract workers delight in being part of what makes American capitalism work.

After contract workers at a major New York City consulting firm discovered that the company was making hundreds of millions of dollars off their services while they themselves received no benefits and only a stingy and utterly static hourly wage, most expressed that, despite the fact that they were barely treading water financially, they felt extremely good about helping American capitalism thrive.

“Sure, we’re getting the short end of the stick, but that's just part of life,” said business analyst Chris Patton. "When you think about it, it’s hard to divide a stick completely evenly.”

Another contract employee, paralegal Madison Cooper, expressed a similar view. “With my legal training, I’ve learned to see both sides of things. And even though I personally am not exactly thriving financially, the system as a whole is thriving, thanks in large part to people like me. I’m part of something bigger than me. That makes me proud.”

Similarly, development specialist Jordan Greene, stated, “I love getting to see trickle-down economics in action. I’m getting that trickle, and that’s more than starving garment workers in Bangladesh can say. I’m grateful!”

Only one outlier, financial analyst Matt Lindsley, expressed mild indignation at learning that the company billed out his services at a rate exponentially greater than he himself was paid. “But on the bright side, at least there’s no job security,” he said. “We've got that much going for us."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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