Colorado Prepares for Jethro Sessions Invasion Force
Colorado has changed the meaning of Rocky Mountain High to something more literal over the years. Now they are preparing some special weaponry especially for Federal Law Enforcement, should it come to enforce Federal cannabis regulations. "We call...
Read full storyHow to Deal with the Fact that You are a Complete and Total Loser
WARNING: This article was written by a rage-filled and heavily intoxicated author who feels a constant need to express disgusting and needless humor for the sole purpose of fulfilling his own vile ego. It lacks any sort of idealistic cause, and it basically says nothing that should be thought about deeply or even remembered. Thematic patterns do not exist within the structure of its content, gr...
Read full storyMen realises waistcoats aren't the way to go in a heatwave
Tony Hemmings, 33, the cock of the walk in Basingstoke has realised that despite Gareth Southgate's leading work in the field, waist-coats are not the defacto male clothing to be worn during a heat-wave. 'Imagine my surprise, to be following the s...
Read full storyMan in his 30's uploads old photos to dating website
Wayne Hemmings, 30 realised that he might have made a mistake uploading photographs to Match.com that were twenty years old. 'I heard it was a common move that people in their 40's and 50's did it, so I did the same thing'. What Wayne didn't re...
Read full storyPoldark fan angry to learn that her husband likes Demelza
Lorraine Johnson, like many people likes watching Poldark, for its intrigue, well drawn characters, scenery and easy on the eye cast was angered by the fact that her husband Gary only watches it for Demelza. 'Imagine my surprise' said Lorraine 'wh...
Read full storyVolga Olga dances in a 'Brazil Nuts' see through topless dress and brings Neymar down!! Dia Treinta / Dag Dertig!
After ridding the world of Banana Republic, terrible, fake actors, our superstar, 85 year-old, nymphomaniac, resident dancer, Volga Olga, born on the banks of the Black Sea, in Ras-Putin's annexed world of opulence, and Czar palaces, swapped her brown bananas, Josephine Baker style, for Brazil Nut-ters! Rio's infamous carnaval has invited Volga Olga over to head the 2019 carnaval in her Brazil...
Read full storyFuneral Service to be Held at St. Bob's Next Week
With loads of horrible sadness, despair, and unfathomable amounts of depression wreaking pure and unholy havoc on his heart and his mind, Roger Mann, 34, took an elevator to the top floor of an abnormally tall building last Thursday. Believing...
Read full storyAnti-Cultists Using Scamatology TV to Stop Potential Converts from Joining Scamatology
NotClear, FL Cult Experts who have been trying to dissuade people that are falling under the spell of Scamatology have been having them watch Scamatology TV. "Generally, once they see about five minutes of the cult's TV station they are glad to n...
Read full storyOwen Gole Favourite To Win Golden Boot
The World Cup is well into its final stages, and, as well as the question over its eventual winners, fans are also speculating as to who might win the Golden Boot, the accolade of being the tournament's highest scorer. Belgium eliminated Brazil la...
Read full storyTrump Sees Ant-Man and Wasp Movie and Wants Scientists to Build Him a Super-Suit
Mir-A-Lago, FL President Trump tweeted today that America's scientists are way behind where they should be. "Why haven't our scientists invented something like Ant-Man's little cars or an Iron Man suit like in the movies? I think, as President, I...
Read full storyUnited South Western Delta Phi Airline Announces Plans to Hire Surgeon; Doctor; Veterinarian; Boxer; and Contortionist
United South Western Delta Phi airlines today announced new employment opportunities. The airline is looking to solve several recent problems it has had with pets dying; humans needing mid-air medical assistance or operations; violent passengers and...
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