Written by Ben Macnair

Saturday, 7 July 2018

image for Men realises waistcoats aren't the way to go in a heatwave
And just think, I could finish this look of with a waistcoat.

Tony Hemmings, 33, the cock of the walk in Basingstoke has realised that despite Gareth Southgate's leading work in the field, waist-coats are not the defacto male clothing to be worn during a heat-wave.

'Imagine my surprise, to be following the sartorial example of a man called Gareth' said Tony 'I have only ever known one other Gareth, and he always wanted to play kiss-chase with snot flying out of his nostrils. I always wondered how a man in his 40's got away with that type of behaviour. I understand he is in prison now though'

'Anyway' continued Hemmings 'there I was walking down the street with my fancy waist-coat on, shorts, sandals, socks, the three s's, when someone said to me 'Look at what your wearing, you complete donut' and I thought this stranger is completely right, I do like a complete prat.....So I took of the waist-coat. So, now whenever I go in a pub, I still get laughed at, but at least I know that it isn't the waist-coat'.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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