Monster Trucks, are 'not gay.'
LGBT officials interrupted during speech by, 'Monster trucks, are not gay.' "Apparently his name is Timmy Tucker. He's a Monster Truck driver. We weren't even on the subject of Monster Trucks!? We never even mention them..." 'We're not on the s...
Read full storyNY hedge fund billionaire's garage sale nets millions towards SEC fine
Long Island - East Hampton residents were treated to an impromptu garage sale this week at hedge fund billionaire Steven A Cohen's Further Lane pad where a number of precious artworks owned by the collector were hastily flogged off to pay Uncle Sam.
Read full storyCostume Ideas For Summer Halloween Muggings.
Lets face it we all use Halloween to justify evil behaviour. There's no point dismissing the fact. Why not instead embrace this ritualistic, satanic holiday? I remember my first mugging. I was walking dressed as a burglar and a little old lady saw me. I was just joking I said, "Roger satan" at the top of my lungs. She started crying. I wasn't even gonna do anything. But she had a nice cell pho...
Read full storyLeAnn Rimes Depressed As She's Gone From Anorexic Annie To Plumpish Patty
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Many of LeAnn Rimes family, friends, and fellow country music artists cannot believe how badly she has let her weight get out of hand. Rimes who stole Eddie Cibrian from his wife Brandi Glanville had gotten down to 64 pounds a co...
Read full storyJustin Bieber Continues To Piss Off South Americans On His Concert Tour
BUENOS AIRES, Argentina - When it comes to basic common sense Justin Bieber has about as much as the average #2 lead pencil. Biebs on his South American concert tour angered the citizens of Brazil when he spray painted graffiti on the bedspread of...
Read full storyTop 10 Ways To Upset N. Korea's Kim Jong-un
1. Whoa! Somebody was left lying on their back for a year after their birth! Or did somebody hit you in the back of the head with an anvil? 2. Jong? Like in "Long Jong Silver"? 3. He what? Likes to kiss you on all four cheeks. 4. So I have to humor him about the road runner & Wile E.? 5. Of course cartoons are real. (So is keeping my head). 6. Bring him a pie and glace at...
Read full storyMr. Met Traded to the Cubs For a Year's Supply of Steroids
Flushing, New York - Desperate to improve a team that has become the laughing stock of major league baseball, the New York Mets have traded their beloved mascot, Mr. Met, to the Chicago Cubs in exchange for a shipment of super steroids. The...
Read full storySir Paul McCartney Has Morphed Into K.D. Lang
TOKYO, Japan - Currently in the midst of his 'Out There Tour', Japanese concert goers have noticed something unsettling about iconic megastar Paul McCartney's aura. With a career spanning over half a century, the permanent teenaged Mop Top seems to h...
Read full storyTears grow for kissing teenager
Doctors are concerned about a 16-year-old girl who has been crying profusely every time she kisses someone. At first, when Wendy Wetkiss started kissing people properly, only a few small tears would run down her cheeks. But recently her tears have...
Read full storyWomen Spotted Sliding On Their Asses Down Highway
It's a weird sight here in Kentucky when you look down the road and heading towards you are three big fat women sliding on their butts. But that is beginning to become the norm around here. Apparently, in order to save money on gas, several women...
Read full storyBritish experts warn of rise in genital cosmetic surgery
British gynaecologists warned today that increasing numbers of men, teenage girls and women are undergoing genital cosmetic surgery, driven in part by unrealistic images of how they should look based on pornography and today's freak artists. "I g...
Read full storyFAK-SHOE-ALL HIS-TREE - Columbo Discovers Pizza!
The history behind pizza - In 1492, just before Chris Columbo sailed the ocean blue, he visited Italy. He tried to make a flatbread pepperoni sandwich and noticed while sailing that wind and waves caused his flatbread to flop around in his hands and the pepperoni would fly off. While in Italy Columbo purchased cheese and decided that might taste nice on his flatbread sandwich. He accidental...
Read full story10 Toy Concepts Held Back by Retailers for Upcoming Christmas Season
1. Wii Fit "Twerk Showdown" game 2. Rob Ford's Rock 'Em Stalk 'Em Fembots 3. LEGO leftovers - discount lego sets! 4. Playstation Classic - Rollin' like it's '99 5. Rollin' Doobs Mountain Navigator Big Wheel 6. "Twerkin' for a Livin'" Barbie 7. "Out of the closet and at the Altar" Ken and Ben Dolls 8. "Out of the closet and at the Altar" Barbie and Betty Dolls 9. Di...
Read full storyToronto Mayor Defends Behavior and Not Budging
Crack smoking on police cameras? Smoking weed in the streets? Popping pills, drinking on the job, hiring prostitutes, soliciting sex from employees. Mayor Ford has been in the spotlight for QUITE a crazy lifestyle, or so it seems. With his agon...
Read full storyBritney Spears is accused of stalking Chicken Boy
Britney Spears, the daughter of famous singer Calamity Spears has been convicted of stalking the famous Chicken Boy of New York City. Chicken Boy made himself famous by dancing, singing, and telling comedy while standing in front of the KFC restau...
Read full storyMacy's Thanksgiving Day Parade Has Banned The Donald Trump Balloon
NEW YORK CITY - An associate of billionaire Donald Trump has informed the news media that Trump is extremely upset and downright angry. It appears that the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade Committee has decided that it will not allow the Donald Trum...
Read full storyArizona State Police Discover An Al Qaeda Hideout Near Yuma
YUMA, Arizona - In what many local citizens are calling an unbelievable story, Arizona State Police have found a 15 foot by 20 foot wooden building that housed at least a dozen Al Qaeda members. Sergeant Cameron Moneymix with the ASP stated to the...
Read full storyMiranda Lambert Is Fed Up With Husband Blake Shelton Flirting With Christina Aguilera
HOLLYWOOD - A close friend of country music artist Miranda Lambert AKA Mrs. Blake Shelton says that the tiny singer is fit to be tied, to use an old Texas cattle ranchers term. Miranda has made it clear to her tall drink of water husband that if h...
Read full storyThree Nuns Vow To Walk From Boston To Los Angeles To Prove That Nuns Are Not Lazy
BOSTON - Three nuns from St. Lobster's Church in Boston have stated that they are fed up with non-Catholic individuals saying that nuns are basically lazy. Sister Marie Bingo told National Focus Magazine reporter Durango Tucker that when she was i...
Read full storyAn Intimate Audio Recording Between Sarah Palin and Her Ex-Future Son-In-Law Has Been Found
PHOENIX - The person who purchased the home where Sarah Palin lived in while she stayed in the Lower 48 states has just stated that he found a very revealing audio tape. The tape is alleged to contain the voices of Sarah Palin and Levi Johnston wh...
Read full storyPope's Plane Shot Down!
The Pope's plane is reported to have been shot down over Kabul as it prepared to land. There were no survivors of the missile attack. Ex-British Prime Minister Tony Blair was a guest on board after receiving his Papal Knighthood just the day befo...
Read full storyMI6 Spy Voted "Most Original Suicide."
Magazine DONTGIFFAFUCK" has voted MI6 death of 2010 the "most original suicide of the decade". The verdict of suicide has just been announced. "The MI6 worker's naked body was found in a padlocked holdall at his London flat in August, 2010" (Dai...
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