What's In A Name?
Do people called Bud drink too much? Do people called Chip eat too much? Do people called Barack shout too much? Are people called Hilary hilarious? Do people called Hugo like to be the boss? Is the king of Venezeula Hugo Chavas the king of the chavs? Or is his nickname Hugo Boss? Why are there not more footballers called Larry? Or Cuthbert? Or Geraldine? Why are easyjet staff...
Read full storySome Questions about Dating
If you get married on Valentine Day is there any excuse for forgetting your anniversary? If you get married on Valentines Day do you save money in the long run on cards and flowers? I have a friend who uses a Dating website called plentyoffish.com - If you don't like them do you throw them back in? When you sign upto to plenty-of-fish.com do they provide you with a free wet suit, or a fis...
Read full story10 Questions I Want Answered (Part Two)
Was grafitti a predecessor of text mesaging? If you type 'Town and Country club' into a satnav, where do you end up? How did football hooligans organise violence before the internet and text messaging? Do call centre workers get double time for Indian new year? How do they get them patterns in marbles? Why do so many boats sink on May day? Do boat rescuers get time and a half?...
Read full story10 Questions I Want Answered (Part One)
If I walk backwards for Christmas how will i know when i get there? Is walking backwards for Christmas the best diet and detox advice? What happens to the sudoku puzzles that never get solved? Whats the point of a mobile phone ringtone that sounds like a landline? Are Saturn, Venus and Uranus Friends of The Earth? How comes liposuction isn't called bellysuction? What do strippers...
Read full storyEuro 2012: Roy Hodgson gives verdict on England at end of tournament
As Spain took all the glory by saving the best till last and coasting to a 4-0 win over Italy in the final of Euro 2012, England boss Roy Hodgson declared himself happy with his own teams performance. At a press conference at Wembley this morning,...
Read full storyEuro 2012 Final: Spain 4 Italy 0 - UEFA look to introduce handicaps
Spain created history by becoming the first team to win three successive global tournaments (Euro 2008, World Cup 2010 and Euro 2012). The triple champions won at a canter without getting out of second gear on sunday night v the unlucky Italians,...
Read full storyJulian Assange joins the Rosenberg family
Julian Assange, the founder of WikiLeaks, could end up like the Rosenberg family if he is extradited to Sweden because the Swedish prime minister is opposed to WikiLeaks. "I'm a strong ally of the United States and I don't agree with WikiLeaks re...
Read full storyMary Mapother rubbishes L Ron Hubbard's paternity of son Tom Cruise in rare 1970s footage
London - Ancient paternity theories about the movie actor have suddenly surfaced amid news of his latest shock divorce. Two Cold War schools of thought always reckoned a famous 'Ron' was responsible for the secret night's legover that lead to Tom...
Read full storyNaked Scottsdale Carjacker Was Probably On Bath Salts - Scottsdale PD
Scottsdale Az: An off duty law enforcement officer with the Scottsdale Police Department today told reporters that the man taken into custody earlier today following an incident in the city was probably on drugs, most likely bath salts. In a terri...
Read full storySaddleworth Rangers F. C. Season Preview
There has been much activity in the close season. The ground at Windy Bottom in Diggle, the home of Rangers since 1921, has had a major makeover for the coming season. The hallowed turf has been relaid, new floodlights have been erected and everywher...
Read full storyHorley Horror: Man's Face Stayed That Way When The Wind Changed
Horley man, Mr Mann left his family and friends shocked and distraught on Wednesday when according to his wife he was in the garden demonstrating to the kids the traditional Maori "haka" when the wind suddenly changed and his face got stuck. Our r...
Read full storyKevin Garnett To Be Celtic for Life
With the reported deal to sign a contract with the Boston Celtics for three years, many Boston basketball fans see a new contract for Kevin Garnett's services as a life sentence. Though Kevin Garnett will not be showing up at the contract signing...
Read full storyFrench enforce breathalyser laws; drivers must test themselves!
The French Transport Ministry is determined to enforce stiffer laws regarding drinking and driving because the French people are demanding that they can get pissed middays, afternoons and evenings! The French regard wine as medicine not alcohol an...
Read full storyThe Cole Hole Gang. Part one. "Going underground"
The gang came together after several of its members had been locked out of their local pubs by the Moderators, a notorious head hunting crew that preyed on people using profanity and bad diction. In one night alone, the Moderators closed seven public houses. Each member of the Cole Hole gang had been sent home from their local after falling foul of the Mods. Capo, Clive Danton remembers his fir...
Read full storyNew songs, Lyrics, Musicals and Tv shows for Gary Barlow
* I want your tax I want your tax, I want your tax for good * The taX Factor * Take That and Party - with our tax * A Million Tax Saved * Could It Be Magic, or Just Immoral * Everything Changes - but my tax code * Tax Doesn't Have To Be Taxing - The Musical - with Moria Stewart * How Deep Is Your Pocket * Gary Barlow: Live at Her Majesty's Pleasure * Gary Barlow Gre...
Read full story8 To 10 New TV Show Ideas for Jimmy Carr
* 1.5% out of 100 Tax * 100 Best Tax Avoidance Plans Countdown * The Secret Millionaire Tax Avoider * Embarrassing Bodies: Jimmy in front of the news camera's the day he was exposed as a tax avoider. * Tax Deal or No Deal - with Jimmy Carr * Imagine - paying your tax bill, with Alan Yentob * Supersize v Superskinny - Jimmy Carr's Tax Bill * Top Gear - Jimmy Carr in a very expe...
Read full storyA True Diary of Woe - Part Fifty-Eight - To the Chemists...
A diary of one man's (Using the term lossely) utter failure, depression, frustration, cock-ups, and impecuniousness, starting in August 1947. He started life with nothing, and he still has most of it! Chapter 103: Fetching the Bi-Monthly medications Monday: Bi-monthly medications collection day Set out on the short ten minute walk to the pharmacists to fetch my bi-monthly medications p...
Read full storyMother's Fury after Son Is Forced To Strip Naked, Dance and Talk Dirty by Kindergarten Teacher - Whole Thing Is Filmed and Posted on YouTube
A Wisconsin mother is today furious after video of her son was posted on youtube by a Kindergarten teacher clearly showing the teacher ordering him to strip naked, dance and make comments of a sexual nature. Marjorie Blackthorn, 57, says she was...
Read full storyBritney Spears wants to compete at the London Olympics
Fears were growing again for Britney Spears health last night as she told fans she would be purchasing a 'duplex' in East London and competing at the London 2012 Olympics. Speaking to a fan on myface she said she loves the east end, after filming...
Read full storyCameron Diaz to marry British Prime Minister David Cameron
Men have been trying to pin her down for years, and now she has finally cracked. The hair-raising star of 'There's Something About Mary' Cameron Diaz has agreed to marry the British Prime Minister David Cameron, after a whirlwind romance. They me...
Read full storyEuro 2012: Platini announces venue of Euro 2020 tournament
In a press conference ahead of the Spain v Italy final on sunday, UEFA president Michel Platini told journalists about his grand plan for the Euro 2020 tournament. While Istanbul in Turkey was considered favourites to host the event, it appears th...
Read full storyEuro 2012: England crowned Champions!
Despite their exit to Italy at the quarter-final stage of the main tournament, England today gathered a small consolation when they were named the inaugural winners of the European Penalty Missing Championships. The only two teams to lose on penal...
Read full storyEuro 2012: Spain v Italy Final Preview - Torres v Balotelli the key
Euro 2012 draws to a close on Sunday with a final between defending champions Spain and Italy. Spain scraped past Portugal in the semi-final on penalties, while Italy upset the form book beating Germany with two goals from Mario Balotelli. Now, w...
Read full storyJoe Biden's Secret Service Detail to have Re-Match of Last November's Barroom Brawl
After it was disclosed that 5 of Vice President Biden's Secret Service Agents got into a barroom brawl at Nantucket's Guns and Bloody Noses nightclub, against each other more or less. Both sides have requested a re-match of the incident which will b...
Read full storyLindsay Lohan Admits That She Is Addicted To Placebos
VENICE BEACH - Lindsay Lohan's hair stylist has said that the poor, little, troubled, rich girl has been trying her darnedest to keep on the straight and narrow. Slicky Pomade of Pomona told Margarita Mixx with The Tinsel Town Times Tribune that s...
Read full storySimon Cowell Has Narrowed His Choice For X-Factor Host Down To Five Individuals
LOS ANGELES - Simon Cowell, the man who single-handedly brought back the black T-shirt sat all alone in a booth at The Cackle Cackle Chicken Diner in Avocado Heights. A person in the next booth who would only give her initials (H.U.) told Bedroom...
Read full storyJanet Napolitano, Defends Requiring Border Agents to Run and Hide from Gunmen
At a press conference that was held this afternoon at an undisclosed location at Vinny's Sewage and Body Parts Disposal Plant, located at 11524 Drubbing Street, Newark, New Jersey, the head of Homeland Security, Janet Napolitano defended new regulat...
Read full storyJohnny Depp Furious As His Girlfriend of 14 Years Vanessa Paradis Says She Wants Half of His $350 Million
NEW YORK CITY - Johnny Depp may soon learn exactly how Mel Gibson felt when he had to give half of his $1 billion to his wife in their divorce settlement. The ex-Mrs. Gibson is now one of the richest women in Australia, who is worth a cool $500 mi...
Read full storyCalifornia Could Possibly Take Away Justin Bieber's Cell Phone
LOS ANGELES - It seems that lately Justin Bieber has been giving Lindsay Lohan a bit of competition when it comes to the automobile department. According to iRumors the Canadian singer has just found himself in a bit of hot water over talking on t...
Read full storyAnn Curry and Erin Andrews leave their networks
Ann Curry and Erin Andrews both left their respective networks this week. Let's take a look at some other well-known exits of female anchors. 1980: Jane Curtin is replaced as co-host of SNL's "Weekend Update" after violating a contract clause that required her to be funny. 1987: Gayle Gardner quits SportsCenter after watching Chris Berman eat a pulled pork sandwich during a broadcast. 200...
Read full storyRight-wingers threaten to move to country with universal health care, gay marriage
WASHINGTON, D.C.--Conservatives across the country, angry over the Supreme Court's upholding of Obamacare, have declared their intentions to move to Canada. Sources say the country has provided free health care for its citizens for decades. "This...
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