Mary Mapother rubbishes L Ron Hubbard's paternity of son Tom Cruise in rare 1970s footage

Funny story written by queen mudder

Sunday, 1 July 2012


The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for Mary Mapother rubbishes L Ron Hubbard's paternity of son Tom Cruise in rare 1970s footage
If it wasn't LRon Hubbard it might have been Ronnie Raygun

London - Ancient paternity theories about the movie actor have suddenly surfaced amid news of his latest shock divorce.

Two Cold War schools of thought always reckoned a famous 'Ron' was responsible for the secret night's legover that lead to Tom Cruise's conception and birth.

The smart money's always been on L Ron Hubbard, paterfamilias of the Scientology cult.

But a rival conspiracy theory has always maintained that as impossible and pinned the blame on Ronnie Raygun, 40th President of the United States.

This weekend the controversy reared its ugly head once again as long
lost outtakes from a UK TV interview surfaced on the internet.

They show former BBC religion pundit Malcolm Muggeridge and Mary Lee Mapother slugging it out about Tom Cruise's 'real dad'.

Half way through the abbreviated footage a furious Mrs Mapother threatens to clock one on Muggeridge for suggesting 'some lunatic extraterrestrial cult figure' such as L Ron Hubbard seduced her to sire the handsome blue eyed boy.

Now parts of that interview have been republished on the YouBoob! channel as newly recovered snippet survivors of the 1975 recording.

Technicians at the UK broadcaster have always reckoned the interview was never actually aired due to a 'technical glitch' - media-speak for a controversial, unexplained blaze that destroyed much of a BBC studio film archive.

The prime suspect behind today's posting is mystery blogger 'Scientology-DeepThroatGal' whose unique collection of Tom Cruise memorabilia includes Brownie 127 snaps of his lovely Mom changing his diapers and taking him for a stroll in the park.

"This could change the entire course of American entertainment hystery as we know it," S-DTG tweeted at lunchtime.

"Wanna see pics of the LATE Mrs M in her cryogenic deep freeze at the Cruises' Hollywood mansion, enough to make yer eyes pop?"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more