Julian Assange joins the Rosenberg family

Funny story written by Evil

Sunday, 1 July 2012

Hey!

The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for Julian Assange joins the Rosenberg family
"Come join us Julian," says Ethel Rosenberg.

Julian Assange, the founder of WikiLeaks, could end up like the Rosenberg family if he is extradited to Sweden because the Swedish prime minister is opposed to WikiLeaks.

"I'm a strong ally of the United States and I don't agree with WikiLeaks releasing sensitive documents," said Fredrik Reinfeldt.

Reinfeldt's party, the Moderate Party, is pro-American, they supported the 2003 invasion of Iraq and they have ties with the Republican Party in America.

Ethel Greenglass Rosenberg and Julius Rosenberg were convicted and executed on June 19, 1953 for conspiracy to commit espionage.

Their charges were related to the passing of information about the atomic bomb to the Soviet Union and the British secret service, two of America's allies during world war two.

WikiLeaks argues that if Assange is sent back to Sweden they will release extremely damaging documents to the Al Jazeera news agency.

The circumstances surrounding the case of Assange are bizarre because Interpol only issues arrest warrants for major international crimes like in the case of Osama Bin Laden and Viktor Bout, yet they placed Julian Assange on its most-wanted list even though there are millions of cases around the world similar to Assange's case which Interpol refuses to pursue.

It's clear to see that Assange is a political target of interpol. International observers suspect that Interpol is a puppet organization of foreign powers.

One of the women in conflicts with Assange published a seven step guide on how to get revenge on cheating boyfriends and there is evidence she has ties to a foreign intelligence agency that is hostile towards Assange.

Both women challenging Assange tweeted and boasted of their conquest over him, raising speculations they may have been working together as part of a conspiracy.

None of the other women that Assange had previous relationships with tweeted private information of that nature, leading experts to believe he became involved in a "Honey Trap" because months before the relationships, foreign intelligence agencies began making plans to have Assange secretly silenced.

Women who had relationships with Assange have described him as a gentle caring man and they find it hard to believe that Assange is a ruthless person. "It's simply out of character with Julian and I don't believe what they are saying about him," said a woman who was previously involved with him.

Witnesses say that both women, who are members of the feminist movement, pursued Assange vigorously for a relationship, which made the witnesses extremely suspicious of the women's intentions and they warned Assange that the women posed a security risk to him. "The sexually aggressive women acted like they were on a fox hunt rather than in pursuit of a courtship," said Donald Bostrom.

"Making friends with feminist is like trying to kiss hungry crocodiles on the lips, it's a suicidal endeavor," said Toby Helm a world renowned political observer.

Sex is an excellent weapon used by foreign intelligence agencies because the situation is a typical dispute that is far from unusual which makes the operation easy to mask.

This is especially true if a feminist is used because feminist ideology creates another smoke screen, producing an alternative motive for a woman's behavior which further deters attention away from the agency behind the operation. The attention is focused on the feminist movement.

In the case of Yaser Arafat who was faithful to his wife, there was no other alternative for intelligence agents than to use radioactive polonium-210 to make him sick and keep him silent.

Supporters of Assange are challenging the Swedish courts to participate in a mock trail based on the evidence they have and using a neutral jury from France, Germany, and England.

Assange will not be present at the mock trail, but their hopes are that the truth will be revealed. "We want the Swedish prosecutor and Julian's lawyers to face-off with each other in the mock trail, so he can finally have justice," said Noam Chomsky.

"Mr. Assange should have been more careful when playing the role of Jesus Christ," said an anonymous commentator from an undisclosed intelligence agency.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more