Federal Government Moving To Disney World
Orlando, Florida -- Unable to afford escalating real estate prices in Washington DC, the US government is relocating to Disney World. The move, which will include both houses of Congress, the executive branch, and the Supreme Court, is expected to...Read full story
Who Would Have Suspected That Men Have a Second Brain In Their.... Um.... 'Naughty Bits'?
Physiological scientists have made an amazing discovery in that man (and we mean specifically 'man' here, not 'wo-man') much like the dinosaurs of ancient times possess a second brain located at an extremity of the body. Both man and dinosaurs have t...Read full story
Zara Philips' Wedding Dress Designer Announced
Zara Philips' wedding dress designer has been announced and the revelation will come as a shock to some because the dress has been made by a current outcast from the fashion world. That outcast is John Galliano and he is said to have told fri...Read full story
Euro in new Greek Tragedy
After having agreed a record third Euro bailout for debt ridden Greece, a section of the Euro Monetary committee are now making very loud dissenting noises. A Euro MP said "This is turning out to be more of a greek epic than Homer's Odysseus and t...Read full story
Furious Wenger to be kept in glass box
It would seem that the Premier league sidelines will be a safer place next season. Arsenal's "mad professor" manager Arsene Wenger has today revealed the punishment imposed on him by the Premier League following a season of touchline insanities. In a...Read full story
Stewart comes out as a lesbian?
Kristen Stewart shocked fans at a Breaking Dawn autograph session by admitting that she found sex scenes filmed with Robert Pattinson for the film, particulary difficult as he was "bloody awful in bed, can't play Twister, and stank of stale smoke". S...Read full story
Stewart Sports New Hairstyle
Kristen Stewart, alleged girlfriend of vampire heart throb Robert Pattinson, was seen by shocked fans this morning leaving a top LA hair salon with a new hairdo. Her new hairstyle was swiftly hidden under a cap, aupon seeing fans who had waited al...Read full story
Plot To Clone Dr. Billingsgate Succeeds
Mystic, pundit, conservative ideologist, Dr. Billingsgate is all of that and more. Few people are the center of more fascination and yearning than the man once rumored to be a reincarnated homopteran. After years of living in relative anonymity, on...Read full story
Harrison Ford Talks About His Highly Unusual New Film "Cowboys & Aliens"
VENICE BEACH - Harrison Ford and his much younger wife Calista Flockhart were having dinner at a local Gunfight At The OK Corral Steakhouse and chatting about his brand new movie Cowboys & Aliens. Ford told Cali that he hopes that the movie is...Read full story
Isle of Wight Planning Own Olympics for 2012
Sadly not one resident living on the Isle of Wight was successful in buying tickets to attend the 2012 Olympic Games to be held in London, England. Many residents will be watching the games on their televisions but in order to get that true 'Olympic feeling', Mayors of many towns and villages on the Isle have decided to host The Isle of Wight Games 2012. They are presently taking suggestions...Read full story
Apple to pay off America's debt
In an amazingly magnanimous gesture, Apple, the world's most profitable organisation, is to pay off America's debts. "What can I say?" said Steve Jobs at a press conference. "People can't buy iPads if they are worrying about their jobs, homes and...Read full story
Chicharito headbutts Rooney in training and is concussed!
After returning from his success in the Copa America for Mexico, Man United's Chicharito decided to headbutt United's superstar, Wayne Rooney, during pre-season training in America and was duly concussed, because Rooney just happens to be a hardnut!...Read full story
ITV Snubs Top Travel Writer Over New Series
A top writer is furious at being passed over by ITV who have commissioned three new travel programmes. ITV Daytime have ordered celebrity travelogues by Adrian Admondson, Ade In Britain, and Dick Strawbridge, the boat-based Hungry Sailors, while a...Read full story
Charlie Sheen Agrees To Appear On The Next Edition of Donald Trump's "Celebrity Apprentice"
MANHATTAN - Donald Trump confided to a close business associate that after seeing how popular Gary "The Space Alien" Busey was on last season's edition of Celebrity Apprentice he knew he had to try to do something to top it. And the man with the G...Read full story
Japanese Fish Forgets How to Swim!
Japanese marine experts who have been studying the effects to Japan's marine life following the nuclear disaster at Fukushima earlier this year, have found that one fish that swims in it's coastal waters, the 'hokkidokki' loco flumo, or 'dancing fish...Read full story
"New Speaker of the House Eric Cancer?" NYT sued for typo!
Congressman Eric Cantor has notified the media that he is suing the New York Times for a typo that appeared in yesterday's newspaper. A spokesman for the paper stated that it was evidently just a human error and that they were investigating. "It is a...Read full story
Cash In The Attic Scrapped
There were celebrations at the TV Repair Man HQ this week following the news that the BBC has scrapped daytime auction show Cash In The Attic. The show, which has run for nine years, featured a member of the public opening their home to a presente...Read full story
NHS delays Queen's lobotomy, waits for her to die or go private!
London - Emergency austerity measures are being blamed today amid reports that Royal Freak Hospital managers have deliberately delayed HM's brain op in the hope she might either drop dead or go private. A congenital deformity in the frontal lobe a...Read full story
"Online Stephen King Satire Serial May Never Be Completed" Says Local Man
An on line satire serial, loosely based on the Stephen King novel, 'Misery,' entitled: 'Miserable - Not To Be Confused With Stephen King's "Misery"' may never be completed, according to hack writer, local man, Martin Shuttlecock. The serial, whic...Read full story
Royal Wedding Latest
The latest news on Scotland's first Royal Wedding in nearly 20 years is that the ceremony, in which Zara Phillips - Princess Anne's daughter - is to tie the knot with England rugby star Mike Tindall at the Canongate Kirk on the Royal Mile, is still t...Read full story
Norway Killer Anders Behring Breivik To Be Questioned By Police Again
Police in Norway say they will question mass killer Anders Behring Breivik again on Friday, to follow up new leads on the Norwegian massacre and bombing. It will be the second interrogation for the extremist, who admits carrying out the attacks that killed 76 people. And, with that in mind, it makes you wonder just what they will be interrogating him about. Possible questions could involve "...Read full story
Brad Pitt Is Furious At The Allegations That Angelina Jolie Gave Justin Theroux A 'Lap Dance'
ST. BARTS - West Indies - Angelina Jolie took what she called a much needed vacation all by herself away from her husband Brad Pitt and their half dozen kids. Brad stayed back home in Provence, France while Angelina flew to St. Barts in the West I...Read full story
Ann Coulter's Torrid Love Letter To Norway's Mass Murderer Breivik- "I Love Your Aryan Attitude!"
The ever intrepid Wonki Leaks has scored another scoop with a revealing email sent by the acid blooded extreme American right winger Ann Coulter to the Norwegian mass murderer Anders Breivik. Hacked from Breivik's email account by Rupert Murdoch himself, then rehacked from Murdoch by fellow Australian Julian Assange personally, the tidbit became an instant internet smash when released. The e...Read full story
Twitter To Ban Twits
Twitter, the social networking and microblogging phenomenon that has taken the world by storm since it appeared on the scene five years ago, is to ban 'twits', those idiots, imbeciles, dolts and dullards who constantly clog up its facility with inane...Read full story
Taylor Lautner Reveals The Reason Why He Turned Down The Lead Role In The Movie "Rocky 20 - The Son of Rocky"
LOS ANGELES - Taylor Lautner, one of the stars of the Twilight movies, was visiting a friend who lives in Avocado Heights when he was asked about the rumor regarding the next Rocky movie. The 19-year-old Lautner who is currently involved with Lily...Read full story
Jennifer Lopez Denies She's Secretly Seeing William Levy
BROOKLYN - Since announcing to the world that she is divorcing her husband of seven years Marc "Señor Control Freak" Anthony, Jennifer Lopez' phone has pretty much been ringing non-stop. Of course she is letting every call go to voicemail as she p...Read full story
Madonna Looking A Bit Old These Days
Pop superstar-turned authoress, actress and film director, Madonna, whose new film about King Edward VIII's romance with American divorcee Wallis Simpson has its world premiere at this year's Venice Film Festival, is looking 'a bit ragged at the edge...Read full story
"Bus Driver Was Nutter", Says Passenger
A bus driver in the Thai capital of Bangkok was today described as "a nutter" after he drove his vehicle through the streets of the city "wildly and without aforethought", in a manner unbefitting of a responsible professional, claims an Englishman wh...Read full story
Old Navy Lawsuit Dropped, Lookalike Admits: "I Am Kim Kardashian"
Sometimes all it takes is perseverance, as Nancy Grace proved today. In a Thursday morning interview on her talk show, Grace coerced Melissa Molinaro to reveal that Kim Kardashian's $20 million lawsuit against the Old Navy clothing line for using...Read full story
Local Man Sucks It Up Like Sig Tells His Crew On Deadliest Catch
It's been a confusing week, for local man, and pork pie hat champion, Martin Shuttlecock. A hectic schedule has meant that he has been out of action for at least a week, in pursuit of other action. So apparently, Shuttlecock has resolved to 'suck it up.' Whatever that means. Here at Skoob Mag HQ, we weren't sure what he meant by 'suck it up,' so we thought we'd better ask him, on the grou...Read full story
London Underground Lingerie Bandit Identified
London UK: The final edition of the British Sunday tabloid "The News of the World" displayed the following headline LONDON UNDERGROUND LINGERIE BANDIT IDENTIFIED. Criminal activity has been reported to the Metropolitan Police involving ladies rid...Read full story