'Actions Speak Louder Than Words'
As a former junior diplomat to Saudia Arabia in the early 2000's you can imagine I have a particular view about Terrorism. September 11 2001 was a particularly harrowing period. All the blonde secretaries had to be counted and checked off my list as was my duty when emergency roll call came through after Osama's mates smashed those planes into the Twin Towers in New York. It really was a te...Read full story
Shock for some Manchester United fans as American Commentators continue to refer to Manchester United as Man U.
It came as a shock to some avid Manchester Unit fans to learn that American and Canadian commentators DO in fact refer to their beloved team as Man. U. Some British fans gathered at a friend's house to watch their beloved Manchester United team pl...Read full story
Obama: "I'm Trying To Think, But Nothing Happens"
WASHINGTON: Next to nothing is getting done in Washington while the Democrats and Republicans show the Nation that there is more than one way to skin a cat; that cat being the American tax payor. Of interest to no-one, other than the 50% of Ameri...Read full story
The Robot Teamaker
Professor Robert De Bild likes robots - a lot! So much so that he has twice been arrested for having sex with the robots he creates. But he has managed to control his lust for long enough to build a robot which recently won the International Robotic Tea-making Contest in Tokyo, Japan. He explained, "It is one of the greatest challenges of modern robotics to build a robot which can make a cup of...Read full story
Sky infected with Trojan cyber-spyware asteroid
London - Scientists have confirmed that a 2010 TK7-type of asteroid has hacked into the iononsphere, wreaking havoc with the doomed BSkyB takeover business. The 200/300m-wide rock may be a huge clue in the UK mobile hacking scandal where eavesdrop...Read full story
Norwegian killer was not a Nazi, he just loved Hitler!
After the tragic events in Norway it seems that the mass-murderer was not a Nazi fanatic hoping to rid his country of all Muslim immigrants after all, he was just a very disturbed Hitler fan. After severe interrogations by the local police it seem...Read full story
Itallians replace planned Amy Winehouse (RIP) concert with near-dead Spice Girls!
After the tragic death of Amy Winehouse (RIP), her planned concerts in Italy had to be sadly cancelled although at first the Italians thought she was only "dead drunk"; nobody believes the Daily S++r in Italy! The organisers were forced into find...Read full story
CIA warns of numerology shocker for start of Ramadan
London - Monday's clash between the Sun and Jupiter promises a massive karmic twist the Agency's Iraq Desk number crunching division warned today. The planets' square angle in 'fixed' signs of Leo and Taurus takes place at 14.41GMT - co-incidental...Read full story
English man arrested in Tuscany for reading hard-core porno in public instead of Sunday times supplement!
An English man was arrested in the famous, Piazza del Duomo, for reading hard-core porno instead of his usual Sunday Times supplement. He was thrown into the dungeons under the Ponte Vecchio bridge amongst the rats and after several rounds of medi...Read full story
How can 'garbageless' school lunches be eco-friendly? School Boards going on a Healthy Eating drive.
Eco Clubs are being encouraged in schools around Ontario. Teachers and students are encouraged to be eco-friendly. I have no problem with teaching children to look after their environment but I questioned the sanity of students being asked to bring 'garbageless' lunches on Fridays. Why? Because this is NOT actually helping the environment. The garbage still exists but it is in a different...Read full story
Life Sucks: Dim Wit Forced to Pay $15.95 for 15 Watt Politically Mandated Bulb
I try to be as environmentally sensitive as the next guy. I do turn off my lights on the beach so as not to disturb nesting turtles, I don't keep a light burning outside my house all night so as to disturb those less fortunate than me from practicing their trade of rifling cars for food money, I lower my high beams as a courtesy to approaching vehicles, and I rather fancy watching TV in the Dark.Read full story
Evolutionist Bird Brains
The saga of Harry Potter may have concluded, but fans of myth and fantasy need not despair - evolutionists are still manufacturing fairy stories with a vengeance. Archaeopteryx, one of the mythical poster-children of the evolution fallacy has been...Read full story
Pentagon Victim Of Cyber-Bullying
(LSM) - The Pentagon is considering the use of military force against cyberattacks. This decision came after hackers breached the Pentagon's Facebook page, changing the military's relationship status with Afghanistan from "in a civil union with" to t...Read full story
Shared Sacrifice Begorrah: Martha's Vineyard Prepares to Welcome 'Black Irish' First Family with Huge Reunion Fund Raiser!
President Barry O'Bama is said to be excited over Boston Irish plans to host a 'big homecoming' for their prodigal son as he returns to Martha's Vineyard for the third consecutive August 'family' vacation. The homecoming will even out do O'Bama's...Read full story
'Queen's date with karma' astrologers warn Zara ahead of Saturday's royal nuptials
Edinburgh - The brilliant Sun/Moon/Venus conjunction in Leo is hardly enough to stave off karma Scots star gazers told Zara Phillips today. The Zodiac sign of kings' triple-whammy celestial fireworks have all the hallmarks of a bolt from the blue...Read full story
'Hi Po Plad' and The Black Ants of 'Urra Hirra' (Thailand).
Every year on sixteenth day of July the people of Thailand's 'Urra Hirra' village hold their 'Feast of Plad Day' when they celebrate, or more accurately 'mock', a time when Hi Po Plad, a fifteenth century Chinese Buddhist monk arrived at their village. When he entered their village of Urra Hirra it is said the monk Hi Po Plad became sad at seeing how the people there were dining on a meal of boile...Read full story
Green Group Boycotts the Sun
Washington DC: Supporters of alternative energy lobby group Americans For Long Term Renewable Energy have flocked to the nation's capital this week, calling on congress to introduce legislation limiting America's reliance on the sun. The group's s...Read full story
Jordan buys space shuttle Atlantis, plans to paint it bright pink - Neighbours not happy
Pneumatically enhanced model come author Jordan is well known for her love of all things pink ,famously respraying her fleet of flash motors including her new Bugatti bright pink. Apparently her sights are now set a lot higher ,in fact they could be...Read full story
New York allows gay dogs to marry
The state of New York has begun to allow homosexual hounds and bitches to marry. For years now, campaigners have been howling for gay pooches to have equal status to their straight canine friends. Dog marriage laws vary considerably throughout the...Read full story
Hull Man Awoken By Cockroach Crawling On Face
A man in the Thai capital of Bangkok received an awakening of the rudest kind this morning after a cockroach crawled across his sleeping face, causing the aforementioned man much disgust. Moys Kenwood, 48, was laid asleep dreaming at his apartment...Read full story
Landau Eugene Murphy, Professor Splash, PopLyfe, and Lys Agnes Move On To The Semifinals of America's Got Talent
HOLLYWOOD - Well as was expected four more America's Got Talent favorites are headed for the shows semifinals and eight other acts have hit the road Jack as Jill St. John said to Jack Nicholson back in 1977. AGT Host Nick "The Candlestick" Cannon...Read full story
Lady Gaga To Guest Star On The Reality Show "Khloe & Lamar"
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Khloe Kardashian was recently asked who she would like to have guest star on her and her husband's show Khloe & Lamar. She thought about it for a while and replied that she'd love to have Michelle Obama as a guest star. Well...Read full story
Kat Von D Dumps Jesse James Due To His Shameless Frolicking With "Another Woman"
LOS ANGELES - It appears that tattoos somehow may be directly related to cheating, infidelity, alley-catting, and your basic unfaithfulness 101. The ink-blotched fairy tale romance between the ex-Mr. Sandra Bullock, aka Jesse James, aka "Messy" Je...Read full story
Lions Face Films Cancels The Rob Pattinson - Taylor Lautner Movie 'The Amazing Secrets Of The Taliban' Due To Extreme Pressure From The Taliban
LOS ANGELES - A spokesman representing Lions Face Films has informed the motion picture industry that production on The Amazing Secrets of The Taliban movie has been cancelled. Cleveland Clackerwitz a high ranking executive with Lions Face informe...Read full story
Nancy Grace Calls for Legal Action Against Hugh Hef in Face of Ex-Fiancee's Claims
In an effort to move past the lulling media storm created by both Casey Anthony's murder trial and subsequent acquittal, Nancy Grace-host of the current affairs program aptly titled Nancy Grace-has latched on to a new subject: Crystal Harris. Crys...Read full story