Old Navy Lawsuit Dropped, Lookalike Admits: "I Am Kim Kardashian"

Funny story written by Patrick Anderson Jr.

Friday, 29 July 2011

Sometimes all it takes is perseverance, as Nancy Grace proved today.

In a Thursday morning interview on her talk show, Grace coerced Melissa Molinaro to reveal that Kim Kardashian's $20 million lawsuit against the Old Navy clothing line for using Molinaro as a lookalike in a nationally televised ad campaign was being dropped-due to fraud.

"Kim's no longer suing Old Navy," Molinaro said quietly, after her whereabouts on several key dates came into question. "-because I am Kim Kardashian."

The revelation struck silence into Nancy Grace, the entire studio, and the country as a whole.

"I don't know what to say," said Reggie Bush when asked to comment. "I just-don't know what to say."

In the wake of Kardashian's admission, Bush-the NFL football player and ex-boyfriend of Kardashian who has reportedly been dating Molinaro for a few weeks now-has become the co-subject of a controversy that could end up changing the makeup of both his and Kardashian's social and legal status.

"Kind of wonder what exactly the dude was doing," says Vince Young, former Tennessee Titans quarterback who finished as a runner-up to Bush in the 2005 Heisman Trophy race. "How you don't know you're messing with the same girl-I don't know, man. Shady."

The groundbreaking interview took place in the wake of increased pressure by Kardashian for Old Navy to reimburse her in what her lawyers called a campaign that "violated my client's intellectual property," namely Kardashian's image.

Molinaro/Kardashian apparently had the lawsuit planned all along.
"So you've been pretending to be two different people all these years to eventually file a fraudulent grievance against a company hiring you to represent them?" Nancy Grace asked.

Molinaro/Kardashian nodded solemnly.

"Arrest her!" Grace responded, grabbing Molinaro/Kardashian by the back of the neck.

The ramifications of Kardashian's actions are sure to be far-reaching and widespread. Kim and her family first came into the public eye in 2007 with their reality show Keeping Up With the Kardashians, riding off the publicity generated from Kim and company's father-the late Robert Kardashian's-high-profile status as an attorney for O.J. Simpson while Simpson was on trial for murder.

Attempts to reach Kardashian's sisters and mother were met with obscene hand gestures.

"There will be justice," promised Nancy Grace after Kardashian/Molinaro's removal from the studio. "I guarantee you there will be justice in this heinous crime."

At this time, it is not known if or when the local DA will bring up charges.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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