Cash In The Attic Scrapped

Funny story written by Ellis Ian Fields

Friday, 29 July 2011

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There were celebrations at the TV Repair Man HQ this week following the news that the BBC has scrapped daytime auction show Cash In The Attic.

The show, which has run for nine years, featured a member of the public opening their home to a presenter (including Jenny Bond, Chris Hollins and Lorne Spicer) and an antiques expert (Jonty Hearnden or Paul Hayes). The cameras follow them rummaging among household belongings looking for items to auction to raise cash for some project or other.

There is also a "celebrity" version for charity.

Vigilante organisation TV Repair Man has embarked on a campaign of direct action to persuade broadcasters to rid the schedules of moronic daytime programmes and "reality" shows.

Notable successes for the organisation include the axing of the Fern Britton chat show, the head of Daybreak quitting and Vernon Kay pulling out of a proposed quiz show.

A TV Repair Man statement issued today says: "Of course, the demise of Cash in the Attic is to be welcomed. It was a prime example of producers treating their audience as utter morons.

"The conceit of the 'rummage' unearthing surprise valuables is simply laughable. Furthermore, we are asked to believe that an auction stops for a breather when half the subject's lots have been sold, so the expert can poke around the rest of the lots to show the audience something of interest.

"And that stupid bint Lorne Spicer's rising and falling sentence intonation was enough to make viewers tear their own ears off.

"And is anyone really called Jonty?"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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