Lindsay Lohan is a Thrill Seeker
Lindsay "Thrill Seeker" Lohan just has to have her fingers in the cookie jar somehow. She's not content with getting a cookie and enjoying it. No, she has to get the cookie when her mother has told her "no more cookies". The cookies she gets without...
Read full storyLazy, feckless, flatulent man outraged at Top Gear for being compared to Mexicans
The BBC has been inundated by hundreds of complaints from an irate lazy, feckless, flatulent man after Top Gear presenter Richard 'Hamster' Hammond compared him to Mexicans. Gary Coogan, a 36 year old unemployed man from Croydon has demanded an ap...
Read full storyLive Tomahawk missile found in bottom of Thames outside Palace of Westminster
London - (Pander Diplomacy): The BGM-109A Tomahawk Land Attack missile, complete with live W80 nuclear warhead, was embedded in mud twenty foot below the low tide mark abutting the Stranger's Bar terrace. Royal Navy Marines took over five hours t...
Read full storyAmazing Results In Most Amazing Words Awards
The Most Amazing Words of 2010 were last night announced at the Annual Most Amazing Words Awards Ceremony held in the Kodak Theatre, Hollywood, California. For the fifth year in a row, and to no great surprise to the thousands of cogniscenti in at...
Read full storyAnother Crisis Hits Cricket
In the wake of the I.C.C. decision to ban Salman Butt, Mohammad Asif and Mohammad Amir for 5 years after being found guilty of spot fixing, another crisis is set to hit the world of cricket. The cricketing authorites are to investigate claims tha...
Read full storyIs this Scotland's shame?
We have been told, time and time again, that the Libyan bomber was released on humanitarian grounds by the Scottish Government. Today, this turns up: blair salmond al megraghi It is difficult to imagine how the relatives of those lost feel. If true, it is, the Labour Government and the Scottish Government, saying to the bereaved that the death of their family and friends is an acceptable...
Read full storyMan Sacked For Sexual Activity
A butcher was sacked by his employer today for committing a sexual act. David Opick (43) of Alexandra road in the city was working at Fred's butchers in the Victoria Centre when a security guard saw him putting his penis in the bacon slicer.
Read full storyMubarak's Departure From Egypt - With Carry On
Near mid-night, a barrel-chested man with a receding widow's peak, was seen to be lugging three steamer trunks (on wheels) across the jammed pack terminal of Cairo International Airport and coming to a stop at the first class counter of Swiss Air. Camped out travelers waiting for announcements of their departing planes, noted the similarity to the current President of Egypt, but shrugged away th...
Read full storyThin Lizzie guitarist found dead in hotel room; Fat Lizzie in Buck House is next say seers!
Estepona - (RIP News): No word yet whether drugs, drink or some other rockstar-ish shenanigans were involved in Gary Moore's death. The 58 year-old Irishman was found in his luxury suite at the Kempinski Resort Hotel in Estepona, some 25 years aft...
Read full storyHow to: Write Drivel
So... you want to write drivel do you? Need a story that is brobdingnagian on filler, and unbrobdingnagian on content? Then this is the guide for you. Written by Inhopeless Litarary Solutions (TM), this guide will guide you to writing endless oceans of defecatory nonesense, why... it'll even go anywhere with four-wheel drivel! You don't need to axel for more help than from us! 1) Think of so...
Read full storyAfter Being Ranked 23rd in Mathematics, UK Students Glad to be "Top 15"
GENEVA - The OECD Institute for Education has compiled a report on education in the member states. Britain has come 23rd, to which many students were happy with. "Yay," said one. "That means we're ahead of [first place winner] China, and above...
Read full storyMubarak dismantles pyramids, counts his billions before departing Egypt
The Egyptian President, whose family wealth is estimated between 25 - 70 billion dollars, is reportedly executing an historic plunder of the country prior to departing for an undisclosed location. His increasingly bizarre behaviour is atributed by...
Read full storyUp The Buses! - Part 13A.
ACT 2, Scene 3 Camera 1 pans around Blakey's office. Interior - Blakey's office. Inspector Blake is sitting at prototype Sinclair Computer reading a few notes and there was a forlorne look on his face. Blakeys expression is one of concern, as may he might, the date is the 1st April. He knows from last years pranks, the Boss of Local and District Bus Traction Corp, warned him in writing no...
Read full storyFuture News: United Democracies of Arabia to Invade Corporcracy of USA
(Published in 2031) - CAIRO & OBAMA, D.C. - The United Democracies of Arabia (UDA) have agreed to invade the transnational-controlled former state. At the UDA building in Cairo, all of the member states voted for an attack on the United States...
Read full storyFuture News: TheSpoof.com War Starts
(Published next week) - WORLD WIDE WEB - After mounting tensions for many, many months, the popular user-defined site exploded into a massive flame war. Mark, the admin, was unable to control the e-riot after a hacker deleted his account. The w...
Read full storyThree Rich, Middle Aged Amigos Laughing at Poor Mexicans
How can three wealthy, successful, well-educated men descend to such a level? Humour is not funny if it is making fun of a country which is poorer than ours. It is horrible how boorish, racist bully Clarkson and May used racial stereotypes to make fun of Mexico. The Top Gear presenters said that Mexicans were 'lazy' and 'flatulent' and they even said the Mexican Ambassador was probably asleep i...
Read full storyBush turns down royal wedding invite amid fears of arrest for torture
London - (Derision Points): Fears of a General Pinochet-style police bust have seen Bush legal advisers recommend a low profile. The ex-president and his wife Laura had been looking forward to a Buckingham Palace grace-and-favor sleep-over as gues...
Read full storyPortugese Water Dog Takes Spoof Chart By Storm
A Portugese Water Dog is launching an all-out assault on the Top Writers Chart of World Bestriding Satire Site The Spoof! Portugese Water Dogs are usually to be discovered riding shotgun on Portugese Trawlers, or ploughing through the coastal waters of the eponymous non-Spanish Iberian nation with a long history of marine adventuring, ie piracy (no, it's not England either) in their customary f...
Read full storyBiggins For Bagpuss Blockbuster
In exclusive film news just in, cuddly Jungle winner Christopher Biggins has been chosen to play Bagpuss in the Hollywood remake of the British 70's classic. Francis Ford Coppola, legendary Hollywood director has spoken to film fans and reporters...
Read full storyMubarak Says He'll Leave Office When His Pyramid is Complete
Talks between President Obama and Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak are becoming more productive as the Egyptian leader has finally agreed to step down just as soon as the pyramid he contracted to build over the last 30 years is finished being built.
Read full storyMurder Suspect Tabak Should Be - Presumed INNOCENT Until Proved Guilty
An innocent young girl has been murdered but will an innocent man by found guilty of her murder? The speed with which Vincent Tabak was charged with the murder of Joanna Yeates without firm evidence has provoked more questions than answers. As Joanna's parents prepare to bury their beautiful daughter on Friday, the family of Vincent Tabak are experiencing a living nightmare that shows no sig...
Read full storyGovernment Dithers to Ban Farting
The Con/Dem government was in turmoil today as ministers discussed whether to ban farting in public. In a recent case in Malawi two judges argued over a bill to ban farting in that country. Prime Minister David Cameron is all in favour of this...
Read full storyObama Power Bid In Egypt: I Am Horus - Part 2
Following my recent exclusive coverage of Pharaoh Obamasanuckasamun's press conference, the new ruler was so delighted with our coverage of the story that he asked the spoof back for the follow up press conference. Unfortunately, Spoof hack Mash...
Read full storyJets' Cromartie Under Investigation for Carrying Concealed Weapon Across State Lines!
Jets cornerback Antonio Cromartie is under federal investigation after a newly published book by the pregnant fiance he left at the altar, claims the football player is a loose cannon and carries a weapon that goes off with no warning! In the newl...
Read full storyChelsea Party Spoiled by Liverpool - Hilarious Says Expert
On the day when Chelsea looked to rub Liverpool's nose in it, the Merseysiders grabbed all three points in West London. Having nabbed the Scousers' star striker Fernando Torres as the January transfer window closed last week, the West London blues...
Read full storyYou've Got To Hand It To The Germans
You can usually rely on German technology to come up with new and exciting innovations and today was no exception as they unveiled another potential winner. Car giants Aldi have unveiled a prototype vehicle with a fantastic new addition. Spokesma...
Read full storyObama Power Bid In Egypt: I Am Horus
After many days of un-founded rumour, and wild speculation, President Pharaoh Barcack Obama has finally revealed to the world the full truth of recent events in Egypt. Speaking from an un-known temple somewhere near ancient capital Memphis, the W...
Read full storyCameron Defends England
Prime Minister David Cameron gave a boost to the English Defence League, even condemned by the British National Party, by attacking multiculturalism. 'This was a coincidence' explained Cameron 'I had to defend England against extremists - it was a...
Read full storyFacebook Backdoor Access to Private Profiles to be Leaked by Dying Hacker
A computer programme that allows access to private profiles on Facebook will be leaked to the Internet tonight at Midnight. It will be leaked by a Russian computer Hacker who only has weeks to live. He computer is thought to be suffering from L...
Read full storySussex cops gave Jordan a police escort
Surrey police were under fire yesterday for providing glamour model Jordan with a road block. Glamour model Jordan who normally is no shrinking violet in being snapped by the paparazzi asked an aide to see if the police could give her an escort.
Read full storyDome of the Rock UFO traced to Krak des Chevaliers hangar in Syria
Tel Aviv - (Pie-In-The-Sky): Erected in 1031 on a massive meteorite outcrop the ancient Crusader fortress forms the capstone of an alien civilization's subterranean silo. Last week a mystery UFO above Israel's Dome of the Rock was traced to a hang...
Read full storyVisual World To Revert To Black-and-White
Scientists have warned that our visual world will almost certainly revert to monochrome, or black-and-white, within the next five to ten years. Those who have viewed photographs, films or television recordings made during the early or mid 20th cen...
Read full storySumo wrestlers cancel world tour, they've been caught with their "strings" down!
The Japanese Sumo Wrestling board has been forced to cancel their world tour because it seems that their wrestlers are becoming too fat (loaded down with bent Yen after betting scandals). Sumo wrestling in Japan is not only a sport, it's religious...
Read full storySir Alex and his little lambs devoured by a pack of desperate, lean, mean, Wolves!
It was proven yesterday that just because you are a spoilt multi-millionaire footy player playing for the biggest club in the world means not a lot when you enter the den of a pack of hungry "Wolves". In fact if you enter with the attitude of a fl...
Read full storyDavid Cameron affair with Katie Price?!
Today, a shocking confession hit Britain, PM David Cameron has been having a secret affair with reality TV star, Katie Price. Apparently the affair has been going on since early February last year after meeting at a charity function. Katie only marri...
Read full storyNationwide Anger Over Cameron's Race Comments
Groups from all over the U.K have condemned Prime Minister David Cameron's claim that he doesn't see the point of any kind of athletic event, especially "those stupid races". In a speech to the Conservative Alliance for Making As Much Dosh As Poss...
Read full storyJustin Bieber's Success Fuels New Talent Show: "Canada's Got Hair, EH?"
In an attempt to capitalize on the outrageous world wide success of Canada's boy wonder, Justin Bieber, the Canadian Broadcasting System, (CBC) has launched a new talent search reality show "Canada's Got Hair, EH?" which has the audience screaming fo...
Read full story20 PRINT "A giant"; X$; "goes out to Darren Aronofsky...
APPLE ][e LOAD APPLEBasi > SYNTAX ERROR LOAD APPLESoft Basic > COPYRIGHT 1977, 1979, 1980 > Apple Computers, Inc. CLS 5 HOME: CLS 10 LET X$ = "F--k you!" 20 PRINT "A giant"; X$; "goes out to Darren Aronofsky for "; 30 PRINT "Black Swan. Spoiler Alert: It sucks. Act 1 "; 40 PRINT "Natalie Portman is weepy and looks in mirrors a lot. Act 2 "; 50 PRINT "Nat...
Read full storyUnintentionally Humerous Newspaper Headlines - 2
Some are just slips of the tongue: Grandmother of eight makes hole in one Deaf mute gets new hearing in killing Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers House passes gas tax onto senate Stiff opposition expected to casketless funeral plan Two convicts evade noose, jury hung William Kelly was fed secretary Milk drinkers are turning to powder Safety experts say school...
Read full storyDavid Cameron Would Like You to...
David Cameron Would Like You to.... To MP's Expense fiddles you will all eventually acclimatise, Realise MPs do not tell an untruth, or lie they aphorise, Never force of expect fiddling MPs to apologise, Support your MP when charges of dishonesty arise, Not complain when we give ourselves a massive pay rise, Realise that the poor, we have to bully and brutalise, Accept for Old...
Read full storyPerfect Resolution
ICU syndrome is a disorder in which patients experience sensory deprivation caused by sleep disturbance, continuous light levels, stress, and above all, lack of orientation, or rather loss of time and date. Our body, a worn-out machine, is comprised of 70% water and some 'dirt of the earth'. This junk machine has some input-output devices such as sight, hearing, speaking, etc. In the meantime,...
Read full storyTaylor Swift Denies The Scandalous Cory Monteith Rumor
HOLLYWOOD - Taylor Swift was asked by Bedroom Pillow Talk if it was true that she had in fact written three songs about her relationship with Jake Gyllenhaal. Swift admitted that she had. She noted that each time she has broken up with a boyfriend...
Read full storyTony Blair Lined Up For Ice Dancing Show
He has shown that he is willing to turn his hand to just about anything - just so long as it pays well. From lucrative after-dinner speeches to advising Arab governments and investment banks, Tony Blair has certainly made the most of his life afte...
Read full storyObesity Fears For U.S. Army
Rising rates of obesity among young Americans could undermine the future of the US military, two retired generals have warned. More than a quarter of young Americans are now too fat to fight, they said. Writing in the Washington Post, the ex-co...
Read full storyArctic Monkeys Singer Goes Solo - George Formby Fans Concerned
In spite of the huge success that the Arctic Monkeys have had over the last few years, the news that their lead singer Alex Turner will be releasing a solo album has come as a bit of a shock. Arctic Monkeys followers are concerned that it could spel...
Read full storyBBC Airs Documentary "Normal Israelis"
The BBC has aired a new documentary called "Normal Israelis". It looks into a group of people living in Israel called the Normal Israelis, who although previously unheard-of actually make up the majority of Israel's population. The documentary fol...
Read full storyUp The Buses! - Part Four
Act 3 - Scene 1 Interior. Stan's house. Stan, Mum and Olive are sitting at the breakfast table. Mum is looking at Stan with a concerned expression. MUM: 'Ere Stan love...are you all right boy? STAN: (Obviously feigning being in serious discomfort) I'll be all right mum. It's just me blinkin' cor blimey back...(Stan winces) I'm just a bit tender at the moment. MUM: (Concerned, maternal)...
Read full storyCalendar Girls Style Nude Calendar to be Released by MP's wives - Thank you Sally Bercow!
It appears Sally Bercow has a lot to answer for! Her risque photos in front of Big Ben have inspired other MP's wives and partners to get in on the act! A 'Calendar Girls' style calendar to be released as part of this year's Comic Relief celebrati...
Read full storyNY Mets House of Cards Set to Tumble After Investigation Says Team Built on Madoff Ponzi Scheme!
New York Mets fans were crushed to learn today that their beloved team was all a fantasy, built on the inflated returns of yet more Bernie Madoff financial schemes that played on Jewish investors around the world. Rabbi Saul Moskowitz, a fan since...
Read full storyIs Christopher Jefferies the DNA father of dead MI6 cryptographer Dr Gareth Williams?
Bristol - (Deeper Down The Rabbit Hole News): The facial resemblance between the two is pretty damned odd, DNA Forensics said today. Of course, one of them's dead and the other just a distinctly fey and weedy-looking suspect, awaiting Bristol poli...
Read full storySemi-Nude Italian Women Protest Sexy Hot Berlusconi Bunga Bunga Parties
Italian women turned out in droves across the country yesterday to protest Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi's overtly sexist Bunga Bunga parties where he is accused of having open sexual relations with numerous young female starlets and models. In...
Read full storyLawsuits Filed Against the NFL
New York NY: Two diverse lawsuits have been filed in federal district court against the National Football League (NFL). The separate lawsuits involve the Ku Klux Klan (KKK) and the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP), r...
Read full storyRonald Reagan centenary seance at London College of Psychotic Studies
London - (Hexoplasm): Sunday's all-ticket commemorative freakshow features the Illuminati's favorite bluffers regurgitating Old Gipper's nauseous rant. The seance has been commissioned by the Hellfire Club to mark Ronald Reagan's 100th birthday.
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