Obesity Fears For U.S. Army

Funny story written by grimbo

Sunday, 6 February 2011

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Rising rates of obesity among young Americans could undermine the future of the US military, two retired generals have warned.

More than a quarter of young Americans are now too fat to fight, they said.

Writing in the Washington Post, the ex-commanders said the fat crisis ruled out more potential military service recruits than any other medical factor.

Franklin P. Hetherton and Bubba Everard, both former chairmen of the US Joint Chiefs of Staff, wrote: "Obesity rates threaten the overall health of America and the future strength of our military."

An unnamed source at the Pentagon went further - "It is the belief of a large number of defence professionals that the increasingly poor nutritional content of meals being provided to our students is a deliberate act of sabotage by enemies of our Great Country.

We believe that hundreds of thousands of illegal immigrants with anti American sentiments have infiltrated our school catering system and at this very moment are engaged in various nefarious activities i.e. adding inordinate quantities of sugar, salt and fat to school meals and actively encouraging our naive, impressionable students to have extra helpings."

"It is the opinion of this esteemed group of forward looking thinkers that within the next 10 years, our defence capability will be so severelyundermined that our world famous Rapid Response Units will have to be disbanded and that our Special Naval Reconnaissance Group or "Seals" will in the near future have to be renamed "Whales".

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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