Sussex cops gave Jordan a police escort

Funny story written by dutch

Sunday, 6 February 2011


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Surrey police were under fire yesterday for providing glamour model Jordan with a road block.

Glamour model Jordan who normally is no shrinking violet in being snapped by the paparazzi asked an aide to see if the police could give her an escort. The snappers from the red-top newspapers were gathered outside and Katie Price did not want them getting up close and personal with her and her posse.

The Surrey police agreed to give Jordan an escort. Jordan was driven off by her younger sister at high speed. Meanwhile the cop car provided a rolling road block and prevented other cars from following the brazen hussy.

Jordan was said to be delighted by the attention which she received from the boys in blue. She was lapping up the attention and happily invited all the boys in for a cup of tea when she arrived at her mum's house. She contentedly ate hobnobs with PC I M Cummings, she said to the big taciturn cop:
"come up to my gym and you can show me your truncheon"
Jordan treated all of the cops to a personal massage and a workout. She then offered to give all the cops a free spray-tan. She said "I really love men in uniform. I love policemen almost as much as firemen, I find them so sexy". The delighted, happy cops had a merry little spree with Jordan and enjoyed her abundant charms. It was a disgruntled bobby who phoned his super and asked for permission to give Miss Katie Price an escort back to her mansion where love-lorn Alex Reid was folornly waiting.

P C Dick Hardwick was disappointed to be told by the boss to report back to the station asap. The policeman told Jordan apparently some of the boys back at the station are jealous of us being given a plum assignment with a Page 3 girl; the Chief Inspector is said to be annoyed about the waste of police resources.

Jordan said, "Oh what a pity you've got such a fit, body Dick - I have enjoyed our little encounter. You will have to come again when you are off duty." Generous Jordan gave the police a few of her nude DVDs with her doing a strip-tease and posing topless. Shameless Jordan said there's even one of me doing a singing striptease in a WPC costume; that is amongst my finest work.

The very happy and grateful six policemen returned to the station completely satiated and too tired to do any more boring routine police work.

Said one PC it makes you glad to be a bloke with a pair of handcuffs to be used in the pursuit of your duty.

The police are said to be waiting for Jordan to call on their services again when she wants to be inseminated next time she gets broody. "She's a pretty little filly said one super-fit PC I would give her a workout anytime. I told her to call the Bobby Van next time she is feeling blue and that we will give her a "right seeing to." Sussex police have yet to comment about the misuse of police resources. It is unlikely that the boys in blue will be given the glamour model an escort again soon.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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