After Being Ranked 23rd in Mathematics, UK Students Glad to be "Top 15"

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Sunday, 6 February 2011


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"A HB Pencil Still Counts as a Black Ink Pen, Right?"

GENEVA - The OECD Institute for Education has compiled a report on education in the member states.

Britain has come 23rd, to which many students were happy with.

"Yay," said one. "That means we're ahead of [first place winner] China, and above [44th place] Latvia."

The examination, which tested nearly five million students in over 50 countries on Maths, Literacy (in their native language), and the three main sciences, has caused alarm for many in the education system.

"This is an absolute alarm clock," said Gove, Education Minister.

Some would agree.

"Hell yeah!" said a student, who took the previous exam in 2007. "Last time, we were thirty-oneth (sic) in Maths, and that was slightly better than now. We need to shape up!"

In the other tests, the students agree that something must be done.

"In Science, we got 13th. That's like, an irrational number and shit, so we don't know about that."

Although the test was standardised across all nations involved (i.e. same questions), some feel that the test was biased, due to the Chinese's ability to do 'crazy shit with magic numbers'.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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