Mayor Quimby Cast in History Channel's "The Kennedys"
The History Channel is going back to the "when Washington was as Camelot" well with their show, The Kennedys. Keanuesque actor Greg Kinnear will play JFK, and, if the backstage buzz is any indication, Kinnear's performance is... interesting. Imagi...
Read full storyNicolas Anelka, Robert Green and Wayne Rooney set up 'Rest Of The World' team
Three of the World Cup's most disgruntled players have decided that rather than play out their roles in their international teams, they will combine forces to start a new 'Rest Of The World' team. Nicolas Anelka was sent home from the French team...
Read full storyEtiquette dooms unwitting participant in transsexual fistfight
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - A Nob Hill resident was treated for a mild concussion after being knocked out cold by a transsexual in the streets of San Francisco Saturday night. James Foreman said he had just popped out for a pack of smokes and was returnin...
Read full storyGordon Brown in Alcopop-Fueled Sex Binge
Reports are emerging that Gordon Brown partook in a 15 hour love-making marathon with 8 members of the Croydon Ladies Badminton Club, in the latest bizarre chapter in his downward spiral since losing the general election earlier this year. A sou...
Read full storyB.P.'s Executive, Tony Hayward, enjoys watching 'life on the open CLEAN seas'
This has just got to be the worst publicity Tony Hayward could wish to have in his lifetime, although he does not appear to be at all concerned. Whilst the many are trying to clean up the mess, B.P. Executive, Tony Hayward, enjoys watching his y...
Read full storyAdam Lambert, Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber - The new head, face and vagina of well known razor blade brand
The razor blade company who promised their product was the best a man could get have recruited three of America's brightest young stars to promote their latest one hundred blade razor. Adam Lambert, Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber are set to replace...
Read full storyFabio 'Where's my Cap'-ello
England chieftain Fabio Capello has revealed his latest motivational ploy to kick-start his team's stuttering World Cup Campaign - he will shave his head and wear the hair as a beard for as long as England remain in the tournament. The (slap)head...
Read full storyCatholic Church Endorses The Blues Brothers!
Pope Benedict XVI has approved the movie, "The Blues Brothers" and recommended it to all Catholics, following a thirty-year study. The Pope himself made the announcement this morning and proceeded to do a moonwalk during Aretha's "Think About It"...
Read full storyKate Gosselin Finally Snaps
Kate Gosselin is very angry with her ex, John Gosselin, after he filed papers to get custody of the kids. Apparently he also had his agent call all the tabloids and sent them some pics. "He's out horsing around all the time. He has no time for tho...
Read full storyLady Godiva offers to assist England in winning Football's World Cup
It is rumoured that the whole England 'squad' is boarding a plane headed for Toronto, before their next, all important game. They need to relax and are, therefore, headed for some well earned R & R at the home of 'Lady Godiva', who has invited...
Read full storyKevin Costner's Waterworld prophecy comes true as BP snaps up V20s
Gulf of Mexico - (Deez Mess): "The design came to me in a dream in 1995," Costner told the House Energy and Commerce Committee this week. "We'd been filming in the Pacific waters off Hawaii using a derelict replica of the Exxon Valdez," Costner ex...
Read full storyTakwana Smith and Anitakapita Jones speak on 'Mark Lowton joining a monastery' and 'Susan Boyle becoming a nun'
Recently interviewed by our satirist, Lady Godiva, Takwana Smith and Anitakapita Jones, (residents of Cargo Fleet, Middlesbrough, England - both sporting 'South Bank facelifts - see below for definition), alleged new acquaintences of The Spoof's own...
Read full storyKeifer Sutherland to block Gulf Oil Leak in under 60 minutes, after 23 hour Pre-amble
Keifer Sutherland publicly stepped out of reality on Nationwide TV yesterday, claiming that he would wake up tomorrow as Jack Bauer, his '24' alter ego, and solve the crisis in under "60 minutes", give or take an commercial break. However, it can...
Read full storyObama Plays Golf, BP CEO Watching His Yacht, Both Worried To Death
While President Obama is back on the golf course and shooting some baskets, BP CEO Tony Hayward is spending the day watching his yacht "Bob" compete in a swank race just off the coast of England. However, a spokesman for Hayward stated that the CE...
Read full storyEngland fail to beat Algeria due to Magic Pigeon
The Algerians had a secret weapon. They employed local Zulu magicians or witchdoctors called Sangoma. The sangoma has to satisfy a demand for 'umuthi' (medicine) to prevent misfortune. In South Africa, all football teams have a sangoma who is take...
Read full storyThe Mask of ZooZoo
Long long ago, how long ago, I really do not know, you all must have heard about Zoro and his Mask. But this time (at 23:03 hrs) I wish to share a new story called as The Mark of ZooZoo. ZooZoo is a man who always wanted to create history. He wanted to put his mark on human history. To achieve this he read a lot. He was finally convinced with the mask of Zoro. He was inspired and started con...
Read full storyWhat if Tony Hayward Had Spoken Honestly?
Washington, D.C. - This past week, BP's CEO, Tony Hayward appeared before an angry U.S. Congress to answer questions about the disastrous BP oil platform explosion and subsequent oil spill. While many, including the Chairman of BP said following Hayward's performance that Hayward is not up to the challenge of being the "face of BP" during this disaster, one has to wonder if Hayward isn't actually...
Read full storyGovernment Minister Promises to give straight answers!
It was a bit of job to get any members of the Government to reveal anything about the new Government strategy to come clean and speak openly and honestly in future press conferences. Eventually I found one, who agreed to meet me in the back of my Skoda Estelle, and answer my questions - he would not reveal his name, and it cost the Spoof nearly a months back-hander money. I can now reveal how...
Read full storyTiny Holland do what massive England just cannot: Win. Why?!
Jaggedone decided to research this strange phenomenom and sent his CIA (Cockroach Infiltration Army) reporter, Johann van de Wank into the headquarters of Dutch footy excellence, the Ajax Amsterdam Academy, here his shocking report: Overhearing...
Read full storyPolice called to Big Brother House: Dave Vaughan accused of inciting Rachael hatred
Yes, it's Big Brother 11, and Beyoncé-wannabe Rachael White is the first housemate to be evicted. However, the dismissal is controversial, and today the Police were called in to investigate the role of another contestant, Dave Vaughn, in the evictio...
Read full storyBritish Woman Attacked By Monkeys
A British woman has been savaged by a pack of macaque monkeys whilst holidaying at a Thai nature resort. Dee Darwell, 56 who herself confesses to having a huge phobia of monkeys, wanted to conquer that phobia but the plan horribly backfired when i...
Read full storyDesperate Fab-u-loseio Capello invites top South African Witch Doctor to rid England of the ancient curse. 'Loseritis"!
In a last ditch, desperate attempt to save England, a speachless Fab-u-loseio Capello has ordered a top Zuid Afrikaans Witch Doctor in to try and rid England of that ancient curse "Loseritis". (translated in perfect Zulu = Spoilt Brat-itis) Jagged...
Read full storyEngland players hoping to be home in time to watch the knock out stages of World Cup
The England football team have expressed their wishes to be back home in England so they can catch the exciting knock out stages of the World Cup in South Africa. A number of England's big stars were disappointed when they were told they would hav...
Read full storyGodzilla Versus The World Cup
Toho Pictures has resurrected Godzilla, and it couldn't be a moment too soon. His newest giant monster target; the wretched, buzzing vuvuzela horn torturing soccer/football fans across the globe as they tune in or attend the World Cup. The deta...
Read full storyGovernment Cuts: Rebuilding of Stonehenge now in doubt
Hidden among the cuts announced by the government in the last few days is a project that was originally promoted as a key Conservative initiative. The rebuilding of Stonehenge into a fully operational sports stadium was suggested as an important ele...
Read full storyRepublican Lawmakers blame Daylight Savings Time, Obama for Recent Gaffes
Republican senators and representatives have been caught napping on the job more than usual these days, but they say they have a good excuse for their errant behavior-daylight savings time and Obama's insatiable appetite for curing all the countr...
Read full storyEfficiency drive deemed, inefficient
A department of transport efficiency drive has driven efficiency to an all time low, which some members in parliament are saying is more than likely inefficient. The Commons Public Accounts Committee report says it was late to start, is still not fully introduced, and is set to make losses, not unlike the public transport systems themselves. Matt Fabulous has made an exclusive video report o...
Read full storyWill I ever get my father back?
Penelope was annoyed. Her father was continually glued to the television set watching World Cup matches. 'Will I ever get my father back?' she asked her mother. 'Of course, darling. The World Cup will be over sooner than you think and Daddy will return.' 'It is so boring. I saw a bit yesterday. Watching paint dry is more exciting'. 'I quite agree. But men have this obsession and we hav...
Read full storyVuvuzela - The True Story
FIFA-2010 is really going SOUND - If you think that these games are meant only for sportsmanship & entertainment, you are wrong. See what our top secrete journalist Mr. Hide-n-Seek is brining for you: After a careful watch on the usage and aft...
Read full storyFleas
Cuba, an island country in the Caribbean, is 90 mi (145 km) south of Fla., USA. On a map it looks like a fox lying down on its belly, tails to the west, back to USA and the head flat on the water, to the east. In this position one may imagine Florida as a platform spilling crude oil on the fox until it turns really red! However, the fox seems over-relaxed and displays a 'who cares' attitude. ...
Read full storyBP Exec Has a Dr. Seuss Day in Congress
Washington D.C. somewhere between Whoville and maybe a leper colony. The following news story was pre-recorded in front of a group of 4 year olds and found to be of suitable news content to be submitted to the Spoof. The whole world was watchin...
Read full storyNBA News: Christina Aguilera Has Just Been Banned From Ever Performing or Appearing In Boston
BOSTON - The city known as "Beantown" has just issued a city proclamation stating that pop singer Christina Aguilera will not be allowed to perform anywhere in the city of Boston ever again. The proclamation was issued due to the fact that Ms. Agu...
Read full storyFergie prepares for England manager's role
George Osborne, Chancellor of the Exchequer, is preparing his emergency budget for next Wednesday. Following Britain's disastrous showing at the Eurovision song contest a double blow of England exiting from the World Cup in the first round and Mur...
Read full storyFour North Korean Soccer Team Players Missing, More to Follow
Four players on the North Korean Soccer Team have gone missing. They were unaccounted for on Friday when they failed to show up for practice. Rumors are swirling that the missing team members have defected and are seeking political asylum in the...
Read full storySir Winston Churchill Is Alvin Greene's Speech Writer
The Democratic Party, South Carolina, and the entire U. S. was stunned recently when an unknown by the name of Alvin Greene won the Democratic primary race for the U.S. Senate. The Spoof can now report some information, just discovered yesterday, wh...
Read full storyLocal Man's House Infested By Smileys
Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, still reeling from the death of a family pet by the jaws of a vicious bastard dog from next door, and England's piss poor display against Algeria in the World Cup, today reported that his abode had been infested by inte...
Read full storyFood Network Show Hosts Arrested for Food Fighting
New York, NY - The set of the Food Network's annual "Ho-Ho-Home for the Holidays Christmas Spectacular" looked more like Hell's Kitchen than the happy holidays venue it was originally designed to portray last Thursday when a fight broke out between t...
Read full storyWarren Beatty's Daughter Becoming His Son
After bragging about all the women he has had, somehow it's ironic that Warren Beatty's daughter, Kathlyn Beatty is planning to have a sex operation that would change her to a man. "This is horrendous", stated a very upset Beatty. "She's a woman,...
Read full storyAdam Lambert: Woman In Audience Offers To Turn Him Straight
Adam Lambert didn't know he was going to be ambushed, if you'll excuse the pun, when he appeared on BBC's "Justin Lee Collins Show" this week. The star who has made some outrageous appearances on television in the states had the tables turned on h...
Read full storySimon Cowell Wins Lawsuit By Former American Idol Performe
A trial judge has ruled in favor of former judge, Simon Cowell, on American Idol after a former performer launched a lawsuit some six months ago. Cowell told reporters that he was glad the 'thing' was over and that it was very silly to begin with.
Read full storySisters of Mercenary teams to hunt down and punish online pisstakers.
Vatican hierachy have sanctioned secretive secular security services with a green light for a "Seek and suffer" operation specifically targeting online satirists, bloggers, shit's and charlatans suspected of showing scant respect or reverence for the...
Read full storySuperb England Crush Algeria
It was a night all England fans will long remember after a great result in Africa saw the England national team stun their group rivals Algeria with a performance of real quality in the Camel Racing World Cup. Still smarting after a disappointing...
Read full storyThe Collaboration Part 5 - Two-Bits for Tibet
"I think we srafe hear Nit. No knock knock on door in middle of night wit hands around throat here in cold sweats." "Right bid daddy boss man you no worries here, all good good, you want cole drink or chockorat?" "No thank you Nit, a quick shower and I will be right as rain. That stop in Hong Kong was invigorating but it's a curse getting rid of that Cantonese accent and after only two days...
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