NBA News: Christina Aguilera Has Just Been Banned From Ever Performing or Appearing In Boston

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Saturday, 19 June 2010

image for NBA News: Christina Aguilera Has Just Been Banned From Ever Performing or Appearing In Boston
Boston Celtic fans celebrating the teams very first NBA title back in 1827.

BOSTON - The city known as "Beantown" has just issued a city proclamation stating that pop singer Christina Aguilera will not be allowed to perform anywhere in the city of Boston ever again.

The proclamation was issued due to the fact that Ms. Aguilera, who is 29, but looks 39, sang the National Anthem in Los Angeles at the NBA finals game 6 and game 7 helping to contribute to the Lakers winning both games.

Ms. Aguilera's Star Spangled Banner record is now 14-0.

A spokesperson for the Los Angeles Lakers organization Kallie St. Fineshine said that Aguilera was paid $1.2 million dollars for both performances.

St. Fineshine pointed out that Christina has sang the National Anthem at 3 NBA games, 7 NFL games, and 4 MLB games and each time the home team has won.

The Boston organization tried to have a California judge issue a prohibitionary injunction to prevent Aguilera from singing the Star Spangled Banner but the request was denied.

The Boston Celtics do plan on immediately filing a formal complaint with the commissioner of the NBA David Stern.

Meanwhile, all that the Celtics organization and the city of Boston can do now is wait and hope that Commissioner Stern will overturn the matter.

As Celtics player Glen "Big Baby" Davis said, "Man it tain't fair - personally I do not like da fact dat professional singers are allowed ta sing da National Anthem. Da song should be sung by amateurs like Francis Scott Keyhole wrote it ta be sanged (sung).

Long time Celtics fan Fanny Matilda Hiddenbarn, 89, said that the makeup obsessed Christina Aguilera, who looks like a clown version of Courtney Love can take her "Genie In A Bottle" and stick it up her assilera.

Hopefully for the Boston Celtics organization and their fans Stern will rule that the Los Angeles Lakers were negligent when they hired Ms. Aguilera, knowing her amazing National Anthem history.

Fanny Matilda Hiddenbarn noted that Stern should make the Lakers forfeit both victories, or actually just the sixth game Celtics loss since that would have been enough for Boston to have won the title 4 games to 2.

In other news. It is now official. Due to the large number of Cubans living in Florida, the state senate has voted overwhelmingly to make Spanish the state's official language.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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