Mad Scientist Claims He'll Bring Michael Jackson Back To Life
Completely and utterly barking mad, Mad scientist, Professor Gino Di Labia, of the University Of Pisa (The place with the tower that is in no way on God's holy blessed Earth properly vertical) today announced that he could, and would, bring the decea...
Read full storyChicago WH Mafia Foists Off Illinois Prison on Unwitting Taxpayers: Obama Claims 3000 Jobs Saved!
The Obama Crime Family floated yet another 'stimulus' plan today sure to create hysterical frenzy and insure yet another 500 votes for the Democratic Political Cartel in Illinois. An anonymous source, speaking on background only during a ribs and...
Read full storyMany More Nude Photos Of Prejean Released!
Apparently there are at least 25 newly released nude photos and eight sex tapes of former Miss California Carrie Prejean, according to a source who says they will most likely be all over the internet soon. "After all that anti-gay and holier than...
Read full storyBritney Spears Changes Name To Pillow
Singer Britney Spears has officially changed her name to pillow, her last name, that is. "I've decided having a weapon for a last name in not right", stated Ms. Sp...Pillow. "There is too much violence in the world for that. I want to be an even m...
Read full storyWhat the F**k or Walsh strikes again !
Men with massive hair and the 1975 Harlem Globetrotters' team are in uproar tonight after Titanic haired crooner Jamie Afro was booted off the Fix Factor. Jamie Afro a Pub-Rocker and a self-confessed fan of Head and Shoulders lost out to sheep-bot...
Read full storyX-Factor Miming. First Cheryl Cole, And Now Shakira. When Will The Great Talent Show Swindle End?
The TV show X-Factor plumbed new and ever greater depths yesterday as 'guest artiste' Shakira appeared to be miming, following in the Cheryl Cole tradition. We contacted top mime artiste Marcel Marinado, who comes from France, and is French and as...
Read full storyLesbian ghost spooks small town
A lesbian ghost has been spooking the small town of Dyersburg, Tenn. and the locals in the area create a posse to hunt down the specter. Bubba Jones the leader of the posse says the lesbian ghost has been terrifying women in Dyersburg for the las...
Read full storyBruce Springsteen: "Hello Ohio, Oops I Mean Minnesota, Oops I Mean Michigan"
AUBURN HILLS, Michigan - Bruce Springsteen and his E Street Band flew into Michigan for a sold out concert but apparently jet lag, or too much run it through the garden pizza, or maybe his six decades of age had an influence on his rock and roll brai...
Read full storyMother Teresa shagged the Pope and had his baby Mahmoud Ahmadinejad!
Calcutta - (Last Daze of the Raj): "And if that wasn't bad enough Papa Ratzi's also father of BNP tosser Nick Griffin and FLDS perv Warren Jeffs!" The admission hasn't exactly shocked Mossad, who sponsored the marque #2 Hitler's Pope since his ear...
Read full storyWoman gives birth to hamburger
A middle aged woman went into labour late last night yards from her home. Miss Paula Green was returning from her local MacDermot where she had her fast-food dinner with her friends. She called an ambulance on her mobile phone and told them that...
Read full storyDiana was David Cameron's aunt
London - (Rotters): Mountbatten down the hatchets! Yet another House of Windsor anal fistula is about to burst its putrid pus all over the unsuspecting British public this week. And Wednesday's State Opening of the Can of Worms could be the bi...
Read full storyMinute's silence held at Anfield today for the death of Sarah MacNamara's budgie
As no football matches are now played in Britain without a minute's silence being held before them, for the death of somebody or other who had no connection with the matches or clubs involved in those matches, today a silence in memory of the tragic...
Read full storyBecks Backs Off As Bonkettes Bowl Into Hollywood.
Superstar soccer player David Beckham, and wife Victoria were staying home today as Brit girl band sensation the Bonkettes touched down at LAX and headed for the Hollywood Hills ahead of their upcoming Hollywood Bowl gig. Manchester United, Real M...
Read full storyPresident Obama to release new conflict terminology.
White House- President Barrack Obama after replacing the term "War on Terror" with the new watered down "Overseas Contingency Operations." is now releasing to the press terminology to be used at future press conferences. "Terrorism" is to b...
Read full storySpoof Writer's Union to go on Strike.
There was pandemonium at 10 Downing Street today, as one of the Nations largest and most influential Unions threatened to take strike action. In doing so they would leave the public without spoof news for an indefinite period of time. A source wit...
Read full storyLondon restaurant reduces table-time to six minutes
A well-known restaurant in London has announced that the maximum time any customer could occupy a table in their establishment would be limited to six minutes from tomorrow, a huge three minutes shorter than the previous limit. The manager of the...
Read full storyCrowd trouble at British Scrabble Championships
Riot police had to be deployed earlier this afternoon in Wolverhampton, as crowd trouble broke out during the Scrabble match between bitter rivals Ted Hankey and Scott Waites. In a tense atmosphere at the Scrabble tournament, Hankey walked into th...
Read full storyCowell uses Nazi chestnut
Beleaguered Pop Svengali Simon Cowell is still reeling this weekend following the titanic outpouring of righteous indignation from the great British Public about his "Fix" Factor decisions. Cowell, 87, actually attempted to apologise in last night...
Read full storySeizure Scare in Popular Restaurant!
Patrons of a popular restaurant in Phoenix Arizona have been have been hospitalized from seizures they all had at the same busy eatery. The hospital released an official statement, stating they are unable to make an official statement at this time...
Read full storyHead, Shoulders, Foot and Mouth, Foot and Mouth.
Zynga, the makers of popular on-line games found on social networking site Facebook have released a statement asking all Farmville users to cull all livestock on their farms. The shocking request comes days after one Farmville user in Burton-on-Tr...
Read full storyAmy Winehouse Joins Boris Johnson's "Ban the year 2013" campaign
Amy Winehouse has spoken for the first time about the sadness she felt when she read about Boris Johnson's battle with Tristadecaphobia. She says she understands how he feels because she has it too. She lives in daily fear of the number 13. She has...
Read full storyKylie awarded medal by "Protect the Polar Ice Caps Charity"
Kylie Minogue has been given a medal by the "Protect the Polar Ice Caps Campaign" Charity. The medal was awarded for saving the biggest Iceberg in the entire world. This story comes just one week after Lyndsay Lohan joined the campaign. So far Lynd...
Read full storyA drunk and depressed Santa threatens to throw himself off two foot snow drift
It seems that the global economic downturn has affected more than just our high street stores and hot dog vendors. In scenes never witnessed before by mankind, a drunk and penniless Santa Clause stood swaying atop a two foot high snow drift, threa...
Read full storyPsychoTown - Part 6
Psycho Town Recap: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 The Shit Hole Motel, a dirty, smelly shithole of a motel. The name says it all really. O' Halloran approaches the motel manager, a skinny little wrinkle-faced guy with hairy shoulders. "You seen a sexy seven-foot broad pass through here lately, bub?" "Maybe I did, maybe I didn't", he says rubbing his thumb and forefinger toget...
Read full storyEnid Blyton's Noddy was not good enough for the Beeb, then they found out he was GAY!
Way back when, when Enid Blyton presented Noddy and other classic kiddie books to the the Beeb, they, in all of their wisdom, didn't think they were quite acceptable! Well history has proven the Beeb wrong and Enid Blyton has become one of the mos...
Read full storyLights. Camera. Healthcare.
Obama: "It's because we truly care about the American people that the State must properly exercise control over healthcare." "So, we have decided to set up Health America as the vehicle to deliver this goal." "We came across this great idea fro...
Read full storyJLS crush forms 'Super Fan'
Birmingham's Christmas lights switch-on event last night, which included a performance by X-Factor rejects JLS, has resulted in 60 screaming fans being crushed and condensed into a single JLS super fan. The crowd at the event surged forward when Asto...
Read full storyBrazil 0 England 1, Kaka crossed his chest in vain and God fell asleep!
Brazilian and English superstar footballers put on a show and millions of bored, more bored, very bored fans all fell asleep! Capellos decimated team playing at half pace in the searing heat of Daho failed to beat the Brazilian cracks and to be pe...
Read full storyXmas exclusive! Father Christmas is not a Paedo he just likes kiddies sitting on his lap!
Father Christmas alias Santa has given a world-wide exclusive interview from his Igloo somewhere in melting Greenland wishing to clear all doubts about his sexuality! Santa invited Bizarre reporters from the Sun but they were to busy chasing Chery...
Read full storyQueen to use the 'C' word in her upcomming Christmas day message.
Christmas time here in the UK is all about the little traditions. Be it watching your child's first school nativity play or decorating your house to within an inch of its structural integrity. One of the many traditions we here in the UK hold dea...
Read full storyUp yer Harris - Calvin Harris undergoes pineapple extraction
Doctors have said this morning that electro-musician Calvin Harris is recovering well after a four hour operation to remove a pineapple from his anus. On Last nights edition of the X-Factor, whilst the Grimes brothers were performing, Touch my Bum...
Read full storyBritney Spears Buys A Nudist Resort
PETALUMA, California - The little blonde rich girl Britney Spears has just announced that she has finally achieved her life-long dream. She has just signed the papers and is now the full and complete owner of her very own nudist resort. Ms. Spears...
Read full storyObama Lays a Prandtl-Glauert Singularity
Washington D.C.-President Obama's efforts to energize his base in hopes of helping the Democrats win seats during last Tuesday's special elections, have laid a Prandtl-Glauert singularity or shock egg. In physics, a Prandtl-Glauert singularity occ...
Read full storyRob Pattinson And Kristen Stewart's Twilight Movie Not All It's Cracked Up To Be
Following all the hype. Spoof writer Skoob1999 was left to his own devices, drinking beer, as usual, and generally being silly and feeding the cats. As his much beloved wife went to bed. Leaving Skoob to watch a movie. The movie he opted...
Read full storyObamicus Now Rules the Empire
Rome: The Senate vote on withdrawing soldiers from Mesopotamia transpired in 112 BC and the legions are slowly returning to Rome. Emperor Obamicus now rules the empire, carrying the scepter and the burden of empire on his shoulders. Senator Obami...
Read full storyJewellers Making Millions
In this climate of economic depression, high street jewellers S. Hamuels have reported massive profits on their year to date trading. Bobby Toad, chief executive of the popular bling merchant, said today that although sales were well below average...
Read full storyNight Time To Be Moved Forward Twelve Hours
Leader of the Conservative party and all round smooth geezer David Cameron has stated in Parliament today that, if elected, he intends to move night time forward by twelve hours to bring it inline with European standards. "The benefits will be a h...
Read full storyBarnes & Noble Sued By Thomas' English Muffins Over Nooks
"NOOKS as well as CRANNIES are words that belong to us," a Thomas' English Muffin Man indignantly complained. "From time immemorial, everyone knows that it's Thomas' English Muffins that owns the word 'Nook.' It's an outrage that Barnes & Noble...
Read full storyKate and Jon Gosselin of Jon and Kate Plus 8 To Reconcile
BOISE, Idaho - Jon Gosselin of Jon and Kate Plus 8 notoriety was in town at The Peeled Potato Convention Center attending The 17th Annual Korean Rock and Roll Music Festival. The event which features bands from both North and South Korean has grow...
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