Lights. Camera. Healthcare.

Funny story written by John Cavanagh

Sunday, 15 November 2009

image for Lights. Camera. Healthcare.
Lights. Camera. Healthcare.

Obama: "It's because we truly care about the American people that the State must properly exercise control over healthcare."

"So, we have decided to set up Health America as the vehicle to deliver this goal."

"We came across this great idea from Australia."

"In that great southern land they have this terrific new public agency called Screen Australia - a kind of State-financed one-stop shop for the creation and delivery of terrific Aussie films. Screen Australia is located in Sydney, which in itself is very interesting, as it proves that an entire industry can successfully be controlled from one central point."

"I am informed that these State-financed Aussie films are absolutely cherished by all Australians. In fact, I'm told they actually dominate the local industry. Apparently, Australians do not actually pay to watch them in any great numbers, but I'm assured they are cherished. I know this because the prominent Australian Arts-guru, Phillip Adams, rang me up and assured me that it was so."

Screen Australia Chief Executive Ruth Harley has also assured Obama that he's heading in the right direction with Healthcare. "We all know that Australians couldn't make a decent movie to save themselves. Without the State effectively running the show, films would simply not be made within Australia."

"I'm sure that's the way it would work out for the healthcare of all Americans. Without a strong public option and the eventual "crowding-out" of the private American health industry, a good standard of healthcare simply could not be delivered within America."

"It's only through a sizeable injection of State funds that we are now seeing some outstanding projects emerging from the effective "crowding-out" of the Australian private film sector. As we approach 2010, I am happy to announce that the private film industry within Australia is virtually non-existent. I will continue to ensure that any remaining privately-funded films do not receive previews or reviews in any serious form by other media. This is my solemn promise."

Obama agees. "So, the success of the Aussie film industry shall be our blueprint for healthcare in America. The Aussie's experiment has proven that within any important industry only the State can effectively allocate scare resources to the right areas. It has also proven that without State involvement, the industry itself would not exist. As we have seen in Australia, only the State can deliver the type of passion needed to make great films."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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