Jewellers Making Millions

Funny story written by Nick Hobbs

Sunday, 15 November 2009

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Gold, Always believe in your soul, You've got the power to know, You're indestructibuuull, Always believe iinn, You are GOLD!

In this climate of economic depression, high street jewellers S. Hamuels have reported massive profits on their year to date trading.

Bobby Toad, chief executive of the popular bling merchant, said today that although sales were well below average in it's stores, profits were up due to a strange business practice it had developed over the past few months.

"Have you seen those adverts on TV," he gushed, "you know the ones, 'we buy your gold for cash' and 'send us your unwanted gold, we'll send you the dough,' well we've been sending them gold like there's no tommorrow! Postage is free too, 'cause they send us those postage paid envelopes, the service is fan-bloody-tastic!"

"The prices they offer us are more than fair, and it's great to deal with likeminded individuals. They really care about the gold, and the service. If we don't like a price they just send us the gold back, straight away!" he yelped.

He went on to state that if business continues at it's current pace, they may well start closing some of their stores, to free up staff members to come and work in their packing department. "We are actually struggling to keep up with the gold buyers demand, we gotta stay on top of our game, or we risk losing out to Goldsmiths or even Argos," he blubbed.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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