Chicago WH Mafia Foists Off Illinois Prison on Unwitting Taxpayers: Obama Claims 3000 Jobs Saved!

Funny story written by Morse

Sunday, 15 November 2009

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Thomson,Illinois Marching Band Prepares to Welcome 100 Terrorists Under the Guise of 'Stimulus Package"

The Obama Crime Family floated yet another 'stimulus' plan today sure to create hysterical frenzy and insure yet another 500 votes for the Democratic Political Cartel in Illinois.

An anonymous source, speaking on background only during a ribs and chicken all you can eat buffet in down down Washington, DC, AIDS capitol of the US, briefed a select group of well buggered reporters in the main stream media concerning the final disposition of the Gitmo 100.

Attorney Eric Holder, incidentally yet another Harvard Grad, has suggested the prisoners be moved to the infamous Thomson Correctional Facility,(TCF) in the Illinois town of the same name.

TCF stands as a tribute to the long line of continuous corruption in the state made famous by Al Capone and the infamous Daley Political Family that spawned the rapid rise of organized crime in the US, as well as the essential rise to power of the very deceased John F. Kennedy thanks to Voting Fraud, and the counseling of the current president Barrack 'Barry Boy" Hussenie Obama.

The maximum security prison was built in 2001 at a cost of $140 million and sits astride 146 acres containing 625,000 square feet of buildings, meant to house over 1600 high risk inmates.

For the first 6 years after it was built, population at the institution was ZERO (O), as it turned out no one knew how to fund daily operation, even though Chicago had more criminals than they knew what to do with, despite paying many to move to Detroit, Philadelphia or NYC in lieu of a Pro Sports Contract.

During the period of 'empty nesting', the facility cost the taxpayers over $1.8M per year to maintain...including $809k in utilities to keep the lights on, and by the way, hire an engineer to do nothing but flush over 1600 toilets to ensure the plumbing system still worked. So much for saving our planet by conserving water.

Recently, the facility has been put to good use: It now houses 144 'low security' prisoners, at a cost of $43,803 per year, per prisoner in the low risk wing of the facility.

Talks are allegedly underway for the state of Illinois to either lease or sell the facility to the US Government of Obama, (USGO) who will then have to spend way in excess of the $7M estimated to bring the maximum security wing up to specifications.

Preliminary talks are underway with the building/architectural firm of the Saudi Arabian Bin Laden Family to discuss the Political Correct interpretation of a Muslim Correctional institute to include a Mosque like dome, proper ringing of the call to prayer bell, and the proper size, design and stitch count of an approved wall to wall prayer rug.

One delusional Illinois politician is all for the scheme, promising that the new Gitmo Palace will provide an additional 3,000 guard 100 barefoot Muslims whose Prayer Rugs are NOT magic carpets destined to have them fly out of the facility.

A government spokesman has not yet determined what will happen after all the detainees are found 'not guilty' in a court of NY law due to a technicality, leaving the facility, empty, once again. The official did say Obama would convene a summit to discuss that possibility, but only after declaring 'victory' in the war on unemployment.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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