Up yer Harris - Calvin Harris undergoes pineapple extraction

Funny story written by Trip Nasti

Sunday, 15 November 2009

image for Up yer Harris - Calvin Harris undergoes pineapple extraction
Fruit salad

Doctors have said this morning that electro-musician Calvin Harris is recovering well after a four hour operation to remove a pineapple from his anus.

On Last nights edition of the X-Factor, whilst the Grimes brothers were performing, Touch my Bum originally by the The Cheeky Girls, eight foot Scot Harris stormed on to the stage balancing a pineapple on his head.

The X-Factor judges praised the Grimes brothers, affectionately known as Jedward, for continuing with their intricate dance routine whilst the crazed Celt ran amok.

After the show an apologetic Calvin is said to have approached the Grimes brothers to offer an olive branch but Jedward were said to have been so infuriated by Harris' antics that they ordered their 20 ninja body guards to eject Calvin from the X-Factor studios.

Although the details of what happened next are unclear, shortly after posting an apologetic message on social networking site Twitter, Calvin posted the following:

"Pineapple stuck in bum again, off to A&E. Happy days!"

As yet the Grimes brothers have refused to comment.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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